I’m (23F) in a relationship with my fiancé (37M). I want to clarify that I’ve always looked older, so when he met me he thought I was 26/27 and he looks younger, so I thought he was in his late 20’s. On the 1st date we found out about our age difference, but we had already made an instant connection. This is not about our age gap and I want to make it very clear that I didn’t get groomed.
Our relationship has been wonderful. No toxicity, good communication, no jealousy. Just a very healthy relationship.
He told me since day one that he maintains a friendship with his ex (38F – Suzy). They were together almost 7 years and he met her when she had an 8-month-old baby (James). My fiancé, of course, got very attached to this kid, as he, in a way, helped raising him.
Now, on to the issue.
My fiancé sent me a video a couple days ago, about him playing with James when he was around 5 or 6. He is now 11.
I thought it was a very cute video and I asked him where he found the video. He told me he has a folder in his gallery with old videos/pictures of James.
After this, I went to rewatch the video and noticed that it said “forwarded”, meaning that someone send that video to him and he then send it to me.
I asked him about it and he said that Suzy sent him the video and he lied because he didn’t want me to get upset about it.
Which is very confusing to me. Suzy has been added to our wedding guests list, my fiancé has been to games of James (in which I assume Suzy has been there as well), he has gone out to dinner with her and not once have I showed him any signs of discomfort or have gotten mad about these things. To me she is just a friend that happens to be his ex.
I despise dishonesty and he knows this. This is very triggering to me and I’m seriously considering to call off the wedding. I don’t do 2nd chances when it comes to decisions. I can forgive mistakes, but he made a decision to lie to me about something so insignificant that I’m now wondering what else he has been lying about.
Is it justifiable that I would want to break up over this?