I have been sleeping with this man for 1.5 years. The relationship changed dynamic around 7 months ago when certain events caused us to get closer and label us as exclusive. Since then he’s brought up our relationship a lot in terms of us getting serious but I’ve kept from defining it due to my own trust issues… lots to unpack here but felt I needed to give some background. We have developed a deep emotional bond and spend most of the week together.
I went through his phone out of my own distrust, a gut feeling. There is a girl he seems to have been seeing, not sure if they’ve fully slept together or messed around but the messages definitely imply a sexual connection.
I want to end the relationship in my own best interest, but I want to bring up certain points I saw in their texts that I couldn’t possibly know without going through his phone. It’s important I mention certain things as they contradict much of what he’s told me and occurred around major traumatic events we’ve experienced. Is there a way I can work around that or should I just admit it? I just don’t want the fact that I went through his phone to overshadow what he did. I want to handle it in a very civil manner while letting him know I am hurt.
Tl;dr: I went through my partners phone and found proof of cheating but want to confront him without letting him know how I found out.