After many years of tolerating my wife's cell phone and cigarette addictions, I'm finally at my wits end. She is always on her phone researching her next vintage score or reading anti-Trump news or reading things on ironically Reddit. She also needs a cigarette before and after any verb. She smokes so much she hacks like crazy when she brushes her teeth.
The last few years she found her passion in online buying and selling. She's actually pretty good at it. However, she is constantly on her phone looking for the next treasure. I can write about this all day long but to put it simply, she rather be on her phone than anything else. It's very obvious to me. I can't compete with the internet. My passion on the other hand is love itself. All I want to do in life is to just live it with my wife or partner. Experience things together. Eat, travel, even just going for a walk holding hands. My wife and I have the opposite mindset currently. Her go to mindset is what can I do/search/read on her phone whereas my go to mindset is what can I do with my wife. I feel like I'm wasting my life with her. Now if you're thinking just talk to her well I talked many times in the past about my needs and her cell phone usage. We even went to therapy. Things might get better for a day or two but her addiction kicks right back.
Regarding her constant smoking, it makes it hard to travel with her especially with our 4yr old daughter because her cravings intensify the stress of traveling. And the hacking when she brushes her teeth makes a very unsexy moment. I also have to delay things I'm or we're doing because she needs a cigarette first. I know other people who smoke cigarettes but my wife is not in charge of her cigarettes, it's the other way around.
My wife and I are intimate once a month or less. It's hard to get her attention when I'm turned off by her cell phone and cigarette addictions. She clearly rather be on her phone, and I don't feel like competing with a device. I think she does however notice when I'm frustrated and offer intimacy like a police quota of handing out tickets. The good news is that we do have good sex the rare times we do it.
I fantasize about leaving or divorcing her. Society tends to say the grass is not always greener on the other side. But should I be unhappy forever because it could be worse? Should I take a chance on a different life? What will happen to our daughter? What would you do? Please help.