We've known each other for 1 year. We are long distance and met for the first time in January. Everything was smooth until some controlling signs started to point out. First it was subtle and we usually got things worked out: For example him telling me I cannot have male friends because he thinks I shouldn't need to have any, I mean I don't specifically seek MALES to be friends with but with most of them I have bern friends for several years so no way I'd cut off my friendships when there is no reason because they are just friends. So nowadays he understands and is okay with it.
In the beginning I remember we talked about tattoos and he said he doesn't want to get any for himself which is 100% okay. Everyone should decide for themselves. But… Then eventually he started saying that he doesn't want me getting any more either. I have 6 tattoos and only 2 of them are on visible spots, my arms. I have 2 very little ones and none of them are actually "big" like the biggest is like 10x5cm on my sternum. I had previously told him the tattoos are important to me and I take them to cherish memories I have made in life (my first dog's paws, middle school themed, smth about last summer etc) and they make me happy AND it's not like I would be overdoing it in any way. You barely see them unless I get undressed.
So now he has been asking me to get rid of them with laser which I refused. He then dropped it but yesterday it came up when I again mentioned I will take a few more tattoos. Just to be clear, I have a specific limit for myself which is to not cover up more than what equals one full sleeve. I will never be full of ink and that is where I draw the line. Although he doesn't approve. Then I mentioned a piercing, septum, that I have wanted to get since I was 18 but I've been working at a place where it was strictly forbidden to have any piercings (which makes it impossible since you can't remove it while it's healing…). So now that I finally have a job where it's okay to have one, he is telling me he doesn't approve. It's okay he wouldn't approve BUT he started threatening me with a breakup if I take it. Then he also said I would look like a farm animal if I took it, which I blew up about (and then he apologized for it). Also about the tattoos… he said "he wants his gf to be pure and clean" to which I responded with a question: "Is your priority the satisfaction and finding me sexually attractive instead of something that would make me very happy, it's not gonna change my appearance in any significant way" to which he just responded with silence.
I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but to me he gave off a vibe that it's more important to me that he doesn't see the disgusting tattoos while he's fucking me, than that it would actually mean a lot to me, since one of my plans was to get a small memorial tattoo. I have made it clear that I will never be covered in ink or piercings but he's still like this. And the farm animal comment hurt.
I love him but it hurts me that he's trying to affect my decisions in a way that would benefit his satisfactory more than my own. Then he always says "I thought in a relationship you consider both people's opinions and make a compromise" but in the end the compromise is almost always me not doing the thing he doesn't want me to do and him getting what he wants. :/
Can I get some perspective?