how do you know if the reason for you not making good friends is bc of you (your flaws) or because you have a low self worth that you keep trying to make friends with incompatible people over & over?

i (19) have a question.
if someone keeps losing friendships over and over, doesn't have many friends (who they can call friends, not friendly acquaintances who don't make an actual effort but just talk to them occasionally), and seems to only have people be interested in them for a little while before seeming to lose interest. being unable to have deep friendships and seeing others close-by succeed at it a lot more.

there are Two possibilities:

• this person is an unlikeable person who has a bad character or a flaw they're unaware of that turns off most people, and the closer people get to them the clearer they see their bad flaws and that's why they distance themselves

or

• this person repetitively keeps engaging themselves in situations where the people they're engaging with aren't a good fit for them, yet they believe they are, despite clues of incompatibility that they may not be aware of. and they seem to have a pattern of getting themselves in these situations over and over again then get disappointed and hurt

in both these scenarios, there's something the person isn't aware of. in first, they're unaware of a flaw that everyone else sees that they should fix or otherwise everyone won't stand being around them. in the second, they're unaware of the incompatibly between them and the other person, and have low self-worth that keeps them in friendships that aren't a good fit for them to shine and thrive.

so which one is it? how do you know which one it is? bc i always tend to assume the first one. but since im working on self love & self worth and many other areas like self regulation, emotional intelligence, and communication & social & relational skills, i don't think i am a bad or unlikeable person. and i need to give myself more credit for my relative emotional maturity (not fully tho). but the ghost of the thought lingers above my head and im scared what if it's true and im unaware.

edit:
or could it be that my personality isn't visible enough and i may have not super good skills at showing my personality and talking? i don't know. imo i dont think im perfect or a pro at it yet but i also dont think im super bad. all i know is that 99% of people around me tell me they don't think im a bad person or hard to be around, but i also can't seem to maintain friendships or have many ppl actually seeming to want to be with me. so i don't know and i even doubt whether they're lying or hiding a view they have of me

so how do i know?