Hi All, I (38F) have been married to my husband (41M) for 12 years now. We are pretty vanilla from what I've seen on other threads 🙈 but we do have great sex and are both very giving and enjoy making eachother happy. I didn't have much (any) real experience with sex before him, I had 1 other partner but we were young and both virgins so it was pretty clumsy and unfulfilling.
My husband got a vasectomy after our 4th child a couple years ago and I don't know if it's the coming off bc or the fact that sex is just for fun now rather than baby making but my libido has increased a bit and although I'm perfectly happy with having sex 2 or 3 times a week I just wish it was a little less predictable.
I dont want anything crazy but would love if sex wasn't so confined to our bed. He gets very excited and I do believe he still fancies me etc and he can't get enough of me when we are actually having sex but it's only ever at night time in bed.
I wouldn't even mind only having sex in bed but would love to even feel like he's hot for me or thinking of me at other times even a txt during the day or a brush past me when he's hard or something ….. anything.
It's not all him I don't ever txt him or tease him either because I'm shy about sex and I'm terrified that instead of it being sexy that he'll think it's slutty and lose respect for me.
I'm pretty conservative, I'm a good wife and good mother, I work in corporate as an accountant so my whole life is pretty sensible and he treats me like an absolute queen, he's so respectful towards me and he's an absolute gentleman. How do I tell him that although I love everything about him and love that he opens doors for me and always treats me with love and respect, that occasionally I'd just love him to bend me over the kitchen table or pull the car over and fuck me? I'd actually just be happy with knowing that he's hard thinking about me and having the anticipation of knowing what's to come later.
After a few drinks yesterday evening I found myself browsing on lovehoney and ordered a wireless remote control egg, I was literally dripping wet at the thoughts of wearing it out some night with him and him teasing me, I was so wet and hot going to bed that I gave him head and although I do it alot I've never heard or felt him cum like that before. His toes were curling and he was literally screaming so much he had to put a pillow over his face and then his cum literally splatted with force into my throat. He then gave me head which he's amazing at anyway but I nearly passed out I came so hard I could feel it all over my body. We fell asleep without actually having PIV and I woke this morning after he had already left still horny and despite bringing myself to orgasm 3 times today I can't shake it I literally need him to fuck me deep and hard. I wish I had the confidence to have just txt and told him that but I was scared he wouldn't like it or wouldn't feel the same.
Ideally I'd just like a build up sometimes and love the idea of us having this intimacy going on while no one around us has a clue, I'd love the idea of him being at work with a big hard on for me. I want to feel like he finds me sexy all the time and not just in bed at night time.
I chickened out of telling him about the remote control vibe I'm just hopeless at any of this kind of stuff so how will I ever ask him if its something he'd want to try? I'd never have the nerve to just hand him the controller and walk away because I'd die of shame if he didn't use it and i was walking around with it in knowing he knew and didn't.
I'm not a whore or a slut and I'd never ever want him to think that of me and it's not just about the actual sex. I just find him so sexy and would love to feel like he feels the same with me. I'd love to make him so horny that he just can't wait to fuck me and get him that turned on that he loses control and will just take me wherever we are in that moment.
I guess I don't just want him to do it to keep me happy I want him to do it because he's that horny for me. I don't know if I'm even making sense but please help!