My best friend and I have been friends for four years now, since high school. This year was our first living apart, and her texting habits are really starting to put a strain on our relationship.
I specifically need advice on one certain thing that she does. When something big happens in her life she rarely texts me about it. She will wait to tell me in person, or, more recently, she has started to wait for me to text something unrelated, will only “react” to or barely respond to my text (often hours later), and then will dump her new information on me. I’ll provide an example.
Me: omg this meme is so us!
Her: lol
Her: i hooked up with a guy recently and i felt really uncomfortable and it was an awful experience
Me: i just got home from dinner! the food was so good!
Her: nice!
Her: i just hit a deer and totaled my car
The first time or two I was really concerned and we’d have a long conversation about her issue. Now, when she responds to my message I can feel my stomach drop and it’s making me not want to text her at all. We rarely text about me, or how I’m doing, and I have genuine concern and love for her but it’s starting to feel like I’m the only one she is going to with this stuff and it’s feeling like a heavy burden, especially when I can’t see her in person. I wish she would text about these things as they come up instead of springing them on me randomly when I initiate a conversation, or waiting to respond to my message until something exciting happens. I’m not always prepared to drop everything and help her with this stuff and I’m looking for advice on how to either reframe this issue or even possibly how to convey how this is making me feel. Especially when she rarely takes my advice and gets into similar situations nearly every week. My top priority is maintaining our friendship and protecting her feelings. But I am tired of this and I don’t know what to do.
TLDR; My friend waits for me to text first to then ask for advice on an unrelated situation