I acknowledge I have a tendency to overthink when I feel embarrassed so I’m hoping to get some clarity on this before I get home and have to speak with him.
I work on Sundays and had a phone call from my partner in the middle of my shift. I happened to be driving so I picked it up and said hello. Apparently he had his car valeted earlier and then went to his parents house to see them and his sister for dinner. They all went out to see his newly cleaned car and noticed some marks on the side of it. Apparently it’s pretty obvious that I’ve caused these marks because I park next to him and my door would open up to that spot. (I feel awful for this and apologised because I didn’t realise I had done it)
Anyway, he was giving me a bit of an awkward dressing down about it (neither one of us likes conflict but he obviously wasn’t happy) but wouldn’t accept my offer to pay for the marks to be fixed. Then I realised his whole family was in the background listening to this conversation. I was very embarrassed that they had overheard everything he said and felt a little humiliated in all honesty. I’ve never gotten the impression his mum and sister liked me very much and I’m worried this will only make that worse. (I should say though that my partner thinks this is all in my head)
I asked him if we could please talk it out later and he said yes. Cut to the next time I’m out driving in the car on my shift, he rings me again. I know he’s probably tracked my location to make sure he’s not interrupting me in the office, so he knows I have no reason to not pick up, which made me feel like I had to.
He was calling, again in front of his whole family, to make sure I know ‘he’s not angry and I don’t need to be worried about it’. Fine. That’s pretty nice of him, but again in front of his family, which now has me worried they think I’m some dragon lady gaslighting him into not being angry?? I said that’s okay but can we please just discuss this privately at home, which he accepted.
I’m due to be home to see him in thirty minutes and I have no idea how to approach this, I am sorry that I caused a mark on his car, and I will pay to have it fixed. I just feel pretty humiliated about how he chose to bring it up, I have no idea how to ask him not to do that again without sounding like I’m turning the entire thing on him. How can I approach this?