*hes 27 in two weeks exactly when writing this)
ALSO i do genuinely like him and idk if this stuff is just bothering me because im splitting or its rational so i need advice and how i could go about talking to him about this
Okay so backstory. We met on taimi (a dating app) went on one date, aaid i wasnt interested but then told him i was. And we dated for almost a month, then i broke up with him, for a couple reasons. He didn’t really understand my mental health, like when i said i
TW START ED +SH comments//
was starving myself he told me just to try a fasting diet which is something you dont say. Or he said please dont self harm, it will make me feel like a bad boyfriend. (I was going through a lot of issues UNRELATED TO HIM)
TW END//
Or with my bpd i was so excited to paint his nails. And i started doing them and he wanted to do them after a few minutes and i got sad because i was so excited to do them and i felt like he didn’t like how i was doing. And i ended up getting all quiet and his only response was “are you really upset over nail polish” like hes right but with bpd i feel things so intensly and i felt invalided with that but like hes right :/ its stupid
But we end up talking about it and are dating again (a few weeks later). About to hit our one month in a week. So this was a span of three-ish months
Flash forward to now. I feel like im just settling in the relationship even tho i do genuinely like him. But like hes not the most romantic type. And idk if im splitting in my thinking that if it doesnt be like X its not a good relationship. But idk maybe my expectations are to high. But like i was at walmart and saw the adventures challenge couples edition. I was so excited but he was so unenthusiastic. Also i got him something and he ended up saying he will get me something in return. And im like thats not why you should get me something and he said he was going to regardless. So idk.
He also uses she for me alot when i use they. And he says its because he uses it for his parents (who are transphobic), which i get but it makes me EXTREMLY dsphyoric and i always have to correct him…
And with long term goals idk if we allign that well because of his parents. Like ik its soon to think about when we have kids one day but his parents believe in hitting (he thankfully doesn’t) but he said he wants them in the kids life. Would if that becomes a problems. He also told his mom we have mice. But hes claiming she knew only because we had pets. He said her philosophy is that pets=mice.which i find hard to believe. And also he got kicked out of my dads house from my grandma NOT my dad. And he said his mom said he cant come back because “its bad luck” and he listens to his mom. And he never lies to her so always tells her everything. I feel like thats going to be a problem in the future.
I also dont want to seem like im playing him becuase i do like him and we broke up once before
TDLR: uses the wrong pronouns, isnt exactly the best at understanding my mental health, and long term goals issues.