My bestfriend (20M) asked me for dating after he confessed that he like me. And I (21F) said no. What are the possible outcomes of this situation? What should i do? Am I in the situation where I can loose the friendship too?

11 comments

  3. He’s hurting. You probably are too.

    There is a chance, and I’ll go ahead and say a likelihood that this will negatively effect your friendship to the point it may not survive. And if it does, it’s going to be awkward as *hell* for a long time. Sometimes things work out and a friendship can continue.

    But you need to know, OP; it’s very likely he’s still gonna feel the same way about you two years from now that he does today. He may keep a lid on it, but the feelings will almost certainly remain.

    Gotta ask yourself if you can handle that, and if you think *he* can handle that. Being so close to someone he wants, and never getting her.

    Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is to tell someone “goodbye.”

  4. As a guy who has been in this situation a few times, I have never been able to be friends with a girl like. It might just be me because I’m a very hopeful romantic, but there’s a good chance his feelings didn’t develop over time and he’s always felt that way.

    With that said, if there’s even an ounce of romantic attraction to your friend I would 100% entertain that. Some of my friends who are the happiest in their marriages/relationships started off as best friends, it’s the core of every relationship.

  5. Pretty good chance the friendship is over if his feelings were pretty serious.

    I know for me personally, the only way I can get over a girl a like and she rejects me is to do hard no contact. It sucks, but is what it is.

  6. 1. BEST: If he’s mature about it he’ll just accept that you don’t like him in a romantic way and continue being friends. However, you’ll probably need to reach out to him first as he probably won’t contact you out of feeling awkward. Since you turned him down the ball is on your court and you have more power to make things normal with him again. Now this is assuming that you actually have no romantic interest in him at all thus he’ll just treat you like one of the “bros” and talk about his crushes and how other girls are attractive. This is where A LOT of people go wrong and develop jealousy towards a person they originally rejected.
    2. MIXED: He can’t accept the fact that you don’t reciprocate his feelings and will ignore you because being in the “friendzone” is worse than being rejected but abandoned. Thus the friendship is over.
    3. BAD: He starts sh*ttalking you to mutual friends which means your mutual friend group will be split as people will start taking sides.

    If you are truly best friends who’ve known each other for a while then this shouldn’t change things too much; you’re still the same person before and after rejecting him. This is very different from the usual “friendzone” scenario where both parties barely know each other thus the incentive to be friends is much much lower.

  7. This “friendship” is done. Move on. You don’t really care if the friendship is done, you just don’t want the attention he gives you to stop.

  8. You should be prepared for the possibility that the friendship might end. More so, that the friendship may have to be ended by you.

    If you want someone who has feelings for you to move past you and those feelings, you need to eliminate the reminders of why he developed them in the first place.

    Those reminders come from being who you are, which will happen if you stay in his life as a friend.

    Alternately, he may move on and find someone else while being a friend. In that case, if he hasn’t fully gotten past you, his feelings for you will take time to go away and his partner will then have to live with ‘the woman he’s trying to get over’ being in his life as his friend.

    Prepare yourself. This isn’t, but might be the only way.

  9. Yes, it’s possible you could lose him as a friend.

    Odds are he was never truly a “platonic friend” but rather a friend with a hidden agenda.

    Some people believe in approaching relationships indirectly by establishing a friendship first.

    Others are simply too afraid of being rejected early on so they try to ease into a union.

    He most likely was hoping at some point to convert the friendship into romance.

    It takes courage for someone to finally step out of the “friend zone” and make their feelings known. Once they get shot down it’s only natural for them to want to distance themselves.

    You’re better off not having a friend who wants more than you can give and he’s better off being with woman who is actually *into* him.

    Best wishes!

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like