Met a woman in her late 20s on Bumble and we've been on 3 dates together so far. I could tell from the way we looked at each other on the first date that we find each other physically attractive and we turned out to have a lot in common. The dates have gone well in the sense that we had good conversations and had fun.
There is just one big problem – all 3 dates have been platonic.
I've never been in this situation before. I guess at this point I'd expect her to bring up that she sees me as more of a friend etc. etc. which is completely fair. But the issue is – she still says she wants to see me AND I really like her, so I'm having a hard time moving on.
Now about the platonic nature of our dates. I feel like I've done what I can to move the needle away from platonic friendship. Just basic stuff. I've touched her lower back a few times and initiated hand-holding on the 2nd date. I've also said some lightly flirty things but nothing really sexual. The reason why I haven't gone any further than that is that her response to my opening attempts has not been positive, just totally neutral. Her body language hasn't changed at all and she hasn't initiated any physical touch whatsoever or returned the flirt. She didn't seem too into the hand-holding and I even got a side-hug at the end of the 2nd date (LOL). I simply can't bring myself to try to kiss a girl who's body language is so… unreceptive. Every fiber of my being is telling me she doesn't want it. It would feel like kissing a stranger.
So after the side-hug at the end of the 2nd date I called it an L, but then she texted me saying she wanted to see me again so I agreed to the 3rd date. She planned it. The 3rd date again went platonically despite my best efforts. I even got alcohol involved even though we are both not big drinkers. Still nada.
So at the end of the 3rd date I just turn to her and plainly tell her I really like her and ask her what she's looking for / what she thinks of us. She says she really likes me too and, like myself, is looking for a long-term relationship, but I didn't get a clear answer. She basically just said she needs to organize her thoughts. Again, I walked away from that thinking this L couldn't get any more obvious, and scratching my head as to why a woman would ask me on a 3rd date but not respond to any advances.
But then she texts me again after the 3rd date and alludes to a 4th date. I vaguely implied I'm game, but haven't set anything up because I want her to give me a clear sign of what she actually wants. My strategy here is just to go let her initiate the text conversations, which she has been.
I've come to the conclusion that this woman is either A) really inexperienced in the matter of relationships and doesn't know how to receive/build on light flirts, B) likes me in a strictly friendly way and is still waiting for a spark, or C) playing me/leading me on. Based on my impression of her, I'd put the odds of these possibilities at 30/60/10, respectively.
So how do I handle this possible 4th date?
I could just reach out, grab her, and kiss her, but I'm 95% sure that won't go well, especially after our conversation at the end of the 3rd date. It would be obvious I'm just going for broke / desperate to salvage the situation by doing something unnatural.
Or I could go further down the conversational route of trying to verbalize our feelings. I don't see how this would result in success, but at least I'd scratch the itch of figuring out what the heck she is thinking about me.
Or I could just keep the platonic thing going and wait for her to make up her mind. I'm not a fan of this option because it's at the point I either need to know if she likes me or not and move on. I'm thinking about her to much and it's preventing me from dating other women.
Or I just force myself to forget about her now and just stop responding to her.