this is gonna need some background information, so i'm sorry the post is so long.
my (20F) boyfriend (22M) and his sister (24F) grew up in a dysfunctional family, in which they were fed and given shelter but neglected in terms of:
– emotional neglect (exposed to parents arguments and personal issues, no family time, ignoring mental health)
– educational neglect (allowed him to drop out of school, made no efforts to encourage study)
– environmental neglect (unsanitary surroundings and food handling, holes in floors and walls not being fixed, not being fed a balanced or healthy diet)
– not having a hygienic environment
– not taught or encouraged to get a job or higher education, how to write a resume, essentially most basic skills parents would teach their teens/young adults
– losing/not giving him his important documents like birth certificate that he needed in order to get a provisional license, passport, etc
as well as neglect, his father is frequently in and out of a job due to him not showing up and so they have him and his sister give them money to buy large amounts of cigarettes (they struggle financially already, and his sister is also in debt due to this).
My boyfriend is also diagnosed with ASD, which impacts his ability to get hired (discrimination, sensory and social issues).
As a result of all this he and his sister are reliant on staying with their parents and are not yet able to move out.
this has created a very depressing, solitary environment for my boyfriend as often nobody is awake in the daytime, they do not interact unless to ask for money or dump their emotional load onto him, and he is held back from pursuing a happy and fulfilled adult life.
Onto what the title says, their mother (F60) is diagnosed with schizophrenia, which can largely influence her behaviour.
She regularly refuses to take her medication, and as a result will act aggressively, say harmful things, make unwise financial decisions, and they don't know what they can actually do as she is an adult, and when they have had to dial 999 did not receive adequate help.
as their father refuses to step up, my boyfriend and his sister take the brunt of this and have to regularly walk on eggshells and act as her caretakers.
my boyfriend is afraid of leaving home for too long as she has expressed suicidal intent before, made threats, and he feels personally responsible for her.
he isn't sure if he can contact social services or if anything exists that would help him to develop skills and find work/become self-sustaining as an autistic adult, which
drives him to feeling hopeless and at times suicidal.
I wanted to ask the adult adults of reddit, what can he and his sister actually do in this situation to become independent? are there resources available in the UK for this niche situation?
it pains me seeing him so hopeless, he is an incredibly intelligent, selfless, and capable person who deserves to begin his own life and thrive.
tl;dr:
my boyfriend and his sister were neglected and abused growing up, and are struggling to move out for a multitude of reasons (boyfriend struggles with autism, sister in debt because of parents, feeling responsible for mother's mental health and providing for their parents). as adults, what services or support is available to help my boyfriend and his sister become independent and break free from this toxic household?