Does your language have a word for a pointless, weird or stupid event?

32 comments

1. As far as uselessness:

   Potrzebne jak świni siodło. – *(It’s) needed like a pig needs a saddle.*

   Potrzebne jak łysemu grzebień. – *(It’s) needed like a bold person needs a comb.*

   Potrzebne jak rybie rower. – *(It’s needed like a fish needs a bike)*.

2. We use “voor de kat zijn klote” (because of the cat’s testicles).

3. In French, there is this lovely idiom: *pour les couilles du Pape*, which means “for the Pope’s balls”. As you can guess, it is rather vulgar…

   This is used when you want to say you went somewhere for nothing. Like, “I went to the shopping mall for the pope’s balls: the shop I needed to buy things from was closed.”

4. Maybe « comme un poule qui a trouvé un couteau » , meaning ‘like a chicken that’s found a knife’ (or a razor clam, it’s the same word in French), i.e., somebody who has found something they have no use for.

   Or « pisser dans un violon », ‘pissing into a violin’, doing something pointless.

5. If there is business meeting or presentation where are invited too many (mostly not needed) participants, then it is sometimes called “*laulupidu*” – song festival.

   In Estonian quite often for “multitasking” is used *”rööprähklemine”*. Meaning is the same, but the second part of word – *”rähklemine” -* implies that such activity is stupid pointless struggle. What “multitasking” often is. I like word “rööprähklemine” a lot.

   I have heard also “you need it as much as hemorrhoids” – I guess this saying is loan from Russian language.

6. “Für’n Arsch” = “For the Ass”

   When something is “für’n Arsch”, it’s pointless, useless, a waste of time/resources.

   Not to be confused with “im Arsch” (=in the ass) which just means something is broken/destroyed.

   Also not to be confused with “am Arsch” (=on the ass) which is usually used to describe when you are in a very problematic situation.

   There’s also “verarschen” (=to ass someone), which can mean anything from lying, taking the piss, minor fraud etc.

   ——————

   *My new car is* im Arsch.

   *Trying to repair it is* für’n Arsch.

   *Now I’m really* am Arsch.

   *The guy who sold me the car* hat mich verarscht.

7. In spanish (Argentinian spanish) we say “Al pedo como teta de monja” which translates to “Useless as a nun’s tit “

8. I think _zabhegyezés (oat sharpening ) can be a word ford that, although it’s not commonly used. A somewhat vulgar version is _fingreszelés_ (fart grating).

   When a pointless activity (not event) is repetitive, we use the word _szélmalomharc_ (windmill-fight, I think a similar idiom exists in English, too).

   When the activity is pointless because it’s intended to solve or mitigate a problem but everyone knows it won’t, we say _veszett fejsze nyele_ (handle of a lost axe).

9. We have a few: *fantochada* which literally means a “puppet play” and *palhaçada*, which literary means “a clown act”

10. Für Arsch und Friedrich (for arse and Fredrik)
    Fürn Hugo (for Hugo)
    Für die Fisch (for the fishes)

    All imply that something was pointless / a waste of time.

    Augenauswischerei (wiping eyes) is used when someone is just going through the motions / pretending,like companies doing something to make themselves look good which has no real positive impact

    All of them Austrian

11. Basque

    Among many others I like gauerdiko ahuntzaren eztula – the cough of a midnight goat (the cough of a goat at midnight). Meaning something that’s not important

12. Argentine here. We have a few, but “Como cenicero de moto” meaning “like a bike’s ashtray” is one that I really like.

13. Megszentségteleníthetetlenségeskedéseitekért
    which rougly translates to: due to your unable to be desectratednessoussings.
    At least according to a website.
    It’s mostly used as a grammar challenge

    Edit: I know it’s not an event but I couldn’t resist putting this here

14. In Croatian it’s “majmunovo” it translates to “monkey’s” like a monkeys special day

15. Not exactly the same, but to describe someone who is everywhere, who would go to every event no matter how pointless it or they are (often someone with an inflated sense of social standing), in English you’d say that they’d go to “the opening of an envelope”

16. We would say “šaškárna”, which can be somewhat translated into “clown’s play”.

17. Kasperltheater. That’s a kid’s theater play where you use puppets. You say that if an event or a project or a measurement is a pure joke, pointless, just for looks etc.

18. Do you mean in the sense of an event that was a waste or an event that just doesn’t make sense to celebrate/is very insignificant?

    For the former I’d say that it was an event “für d’Füchs” (for the foxes) – “that meeting was *für d’Füchs,* everyone just said what we already know”.

    For the latter, there’s the term “Hundsverlochete”, which means “a dog’s funeral” (literally, it would translate to “dog holing”, as in burying a dog). Example: “The mayor will be at the anniversary of the public pool, he goes to speak at every *Hundsverlochete*”.
    “Verlochete” is pretty archaic and/or dialectal though, so for the longest time I actually thought it meant “giving away a dog” (like in a lottery) for some reason.

19. Referring to conversations, I know: “questioni di lana caprina” (questions of goat’s wool) and “discutere del sesso degli angeli” (discussing the sex of angels) used to indicate useless and irrelevant questions and speeches.

20. A Swedish expression for a fairly specific situation is: “elda för kråkorna”, literally “to fire/heat up for the crows”. Mostly used when describing either a vacant house that’s heated in vain or the act of heating your house excessively, but is also sometimes used to mean a waste of money or resources that nobody really benefits from.

21. I don’t know about an event, but in English we call pointless things “as useful as a chocolate teapot”

22. I would say Tohuwabohu, but I didn’t heard anyone use it since the 90’s.

    There was also a TV Show with that name, which was very … Weird and pointless

23. Mmm. In 🇪🇸 , I’ll say una chorrada
    Una chorrada is something said, or done, that’s really dumb, has no sense, it’s superfluous, has nothing to do with the matter at hand…
    Un chorras is the adjective when applied to somebody

    We have other idioms but this one applies to anything and is very concise.

24. Tidsspild comes to mind (lit. time-waste)

    I remember we had a class in high school that everyone thought was pointless. It was shortened to AT on our timetable, so everyone rewrote it to Alment Tidsspild (common waste of time)

25. In Romanian:

    get nothing “luat praful de pe toba” (got the dust off the drum).

    lose nothing: “boii de la bicicleta” (losing the bicycle’s oxen)

    useless/pointless person: “ca musca la arat” (usefull) like a fly when plowing)

    meddling in something “ca musca’n lapte” (like a fly in the milk)

    middle of nowhere: “unde a intarcat mutu iapa” (where the mute person weaned the mare)

    never: “la Pastele cailor” (at horses’ Easter)

    unkown remote place: “la dracu’n praznic” (at the devil’s party)

    chasing /dreaming rainbows: fuge dupa cai verzi pe pereti” (running after green horses on walls)

26. We’ll say something is as useful as an asshole in an armpit.
    Like, “I need that as much as I need an asshole in my armpit. Right here, under my arm. An asshole. That’s how much I need it.”

27. Shitshow, goat fuck, cake-and-arse party… most of those are shared with other English speaking countries.

    All of them have connotations of the event going wrong as well, though. I don’t think we’ve got a phrase for a successfully concluded waste-of-time.

28. In Serbia we say:”Pičkin dim!” Translation would be:”Pussy’s smoke” which would mean like something is very easy,but for a pointless thing,most common ones are:”Kurac od ovce” which means:”A sheep(female)’s dick” or :”Kerin kurac” which means:”A dog’s dick”

29. We use sarcasm alot, such as:

    •As much use as Anne Frank’s drum kit

    •As much use as a chocolate fire-guard

    •As much use as a soluble tampon

    •As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle

    •As much use as a handbrake on a canoe

    •As much use as a porcelain hammer

30. “As much use as a chocolate teapot” springs to mind.

31. Only a few years old, but the tv show The Thick of It gave the English language: **Omnishambles**.

32. In romanian we have “a tăia frunză la câini” = to cut leaves for dogs”. Is used to describe something useless, not an event but an action done by somebody.