I’ve not had a crush in a long time. I was dating someone for roughly 10months and then had a bit of a rebound for like 6months. Now after a really really long time I actually kind of like someone. We’ve known each other through mutuals for a while but only been properly talking for like 2weeks and it’s been great. She’s smart, kind, funny and so beautiful. She thinks I’m smart and funny. She tells me she gets all excited when I text and that she feels comfortable with me like she never has with anyone before.
I have a problem though. I fall pretty hard. I’m well aware that this is just a crush but I just kind of wait around for her to reply all day. We’ve talked about how we both have a hard time replying to people since we’re so busy and sometimes we just don’t have the energy. Although this is the same for both of us, I have developed a bit of an unhealthy yearning for her replies. I’ve become too eager and I feel like it is going to be (or already is).
I don’t think she can tell yet. I am trying my best to not overstep and text too much, but I am just so bad when I get a crush. I forgot how bad I can be because it’s been so long. We talked for hours last night and she told me things she’s never told anyone before, but tonight we didn’t talk that much. We normally play a match of chess before we go to bed but tonight we did none of that. I know we’ll probably talk again tomorrow and everything is fine, but I’m so paranoid that she’s already kind of lost interest. I get very anxious when this happens.
I don’t want to blow it with this girl. I’m not delusional, I know this is just a phase and that it will pass. I’m just scared I might ruin it before I have a chance to calm down.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I’m just not sure what to do or how to compose myself. When this used to happen I would just stop texting the person because I’d figure it’s better to just end it on a high rather than let it drag out. I don’t want to do that with her though. I actually like her.
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TL;DR- I have a crush on someone but I am scared I will ruin it by being too eager.
2 comments
What are you doing to manage your anxiety? Therapy? Mindfulness? Meditation?
the first thing you have to keep telling yourself is you are not entitled to her time or attention. everything you get is a gift. be yourself, be the type of person she wants to share those gifts with. she seems to have a genuine interest in talking to you. its okay to be excited when talking to her and even look forward to the next time but just keep in mind that if it does not happen or it takes her a long time to respond that she has a full life and that its okay.