I (26f) have been with Harrison (25m) for almost about five years coming this winter. We have two children together, and one dog.
Background: We started dating when I was 22, and he turned 21. We were long distance for the first two months, then he moved to my city. Covid happened, we moved in together, discovered I was pregnant when I turned 23. Our firstborn turned 1, found out we were pregnant three months later. He did amazing while I went to school with our first child, the second one. We got married of 2023 finally. Our second child, I’m not sure what happened, but he never bonded with our second baby like our first. He never changed diapers again, never fed him, rocked him or cuddled him. I’m not even sure where the man I loved disappeared to. Then other things started falling apart.
He no longer does chores, takes his share in parenting our children, gets angry with me over the simplest of things, or anyone else in our household. I’ve tried speaking to him, and he just gets angry, then ignores me for the rest of our day. Even our kids.
We still have an avid s*x life, but I feel like that’s it. I checked his phone, and I’ve seen he’s on NSFW reddits. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t worried.
He also doesn’t go anywhere for family outings, I’ve asked him what he’d like to do. He didn’t wanted to spend Christmas, new years, Mother’s Day or anything else with me. He came to our children’s birthdays, but that was about it.
He also thinks we don’t need counseling. I still love and care deeply for him. My mind would never let my heart love again if this was the end.
So is he checked out of being with me? Is my marriage worth saving? How can I approach this so we can actually fix our issues? If I can’t fix it, how much would it hurt my children if I left? How do I get my best friend back? I have so many questions, but I’m scared of the answers. Thank you for reading and taking the time. I’ll answer whatever people ask me too.
1 comment
“He no longer does chores, takes his share in parenting our children, gets angry with me over the simplest of things, or anyone else in our household. “…mmmh, maybe he can change, but then: “He also thinks we don’t need counseling.”
Sorry, that is all you need to know. All the clues are there in your own words.
And as for “how much would it hurt my children if I left?” Not much, it sounds like he contributes nothing and they would be better off in a happy household.