I'm in serious need of some advice . I ( 30F ) recently started going out with lets call him James ( 42M ) . James and I have gone on a few dates and he recently invited me to his place and to say i was shocked at the state of the apartment would be an understatement . Imagine this if you will . A studio apartment with a gallery . When you enter through the door you're immediately in the kitchen . The counter is full of dishes , clean and dirty ones which a sitting ontop of filth . The counter tops are so dusty it's hard to tell what the original color is anymore . Some of his tshirts which he wears to work are hanging in the kitchen . He doesn't have a real bin so there's trash all over the floor and tiny table . The bathroom that is right opposite the kitchen is a mess as well . There's a laundry basket but clothes are on the floor . The mirror has water marks so old you can't even see yourself . The basin has old soaps that have marked it . His shaved hair is all over the basin too . The toilet is so dirty i worry about getting a UTI from sitting on it . The rest of the apartment has dishes , random carton boxes everywhere and more clothes just hanging everywhere . Unfortunately I currently live in a shared apartment so he can't visit me . I'm generally a neat person and can't stand cluttered spaces so much so that i work as a cleaner part- time . I like this man and want to continue seeing him but i really don't want to go over his place because of the condition it's in. Should i tell him to clean it up? Not even to my standards but I’m even a bit insulted he thought it was okay to bring a lady into such a place. I’m worried if i keep going there without saying anything I’ll be sending the message that i don’t mind the filth and i really do.


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