I’m 24f and I haven’t “dated” anyone since I was 19. I had a brief year of dating and every experience I had was horrible. I constantly felt used and the one time I did date someone for longer than a few weeks he got really emotionally manipulative so it spooked me. I definitely needed some time away from dating after that but now I feel like it’s been too long and I’m more nervous than I was at 19 as I feel like people will expect a 24 / almost turning 25 year old to be experienced. Any advice for gaining confidence? What are the best dating apps? I’m really at a point where i’d like to start dating as I plan to move to a new city in the summer so it would feel like a fresh start
I don’t know if this is important to add but I’m definitely not the most attractive girl. I’m never really approached and in the past I had to really try to actively find people to date me
3 comments
My advice is to get creative. Dating isn’t just something that you let passively wash over you. You get to decide the terms of what you want. Spend your time determining what type of person you want in your life. Cover everything from personality, aesthetics, financial literacy, life goals, etc. once you have a strong idea of who that is, go on dates and see what type of people are out there. Personally I’ve created a 3 date rule, where if a person matches my overall idea, I do a quick meet n greet date (drink or coffee), then a dinner date, then a longer “adventure” date. Usually by the 3rd date I’ll know if I want to keep seeing them. Remember to go have fun and be safe. We are all just a bunch weirdos trying to figure it out. Don’t pressure yourself or let others pressure you.
I feel as though it’s best to let things develop organically. Maybe you can meet someone through a friend, maybe you can reach out to an already existing person in your life and strengthen your relationship with them, or maybe you can meet someone just out somewhere going about your life. People in general on dating apps tend to be immature, shallow, or manipulative like how you described. Dating apps are basically where people who can’t land a real-life partner go for easy scraps. At least that’s my opinion on it. Some people get lucky with them, I wouldn’t use one with the goal of finding a dating partner.
a mature person who’s thinking long term won’t be phased by your experience, but will consider your emotional maturity, communication skills, and ability to deal with people. Those looking to sleep around might push you for your body count etc and judge you for lack of experience.