Hey 👋 I'm curious to hear answers from both sides hence posting here 🙂
I used to have no issues dating and finding partners when I was in my 20's, working dead end jobs, depressed, and struggling financially. After leaving my last long-term relationship though, it's been a struggle. I honestly haven't changed much physically and personality-wise in the past 5ish years (very early 30's now but look young). What has changed is I went back to school for a grad degree, now have a really interesting career that has taken off, am financially independent, have a lot of hobbies, and own a house. Full disclaimer – I'm happy to have these things, but am def not bragging or think I'm better than anyone else. I'm honestly not like that at all.
I find as soon as dates start finding out about these things about me, they glaze over and lose interest. It's insane to watch in real time during a date. I now live in a more rural area and most of the men in the dating pool haven't gone to college, make less money, and rent or live with parents (housing market is brutal here). But as long as he's basically "adulting" I don't care about any of these things, including physical appearance! I'm all about personality and being a good and interesting person. The rest has little bearing on what makes a good partner to me.
It really sucks. I end up "friends" with these men, and they often end up in relationships with women with none or minimum wage jobs and few hobbies, who are completely dependent on them financially and emotionally, and have no life outside of their partner. My female colleagues are experiencing the same. Is it just the area I live? Or are many men really still hung up on needing woman to be "less" than them?
Really curious about your opinions 🙂 I love my rural city, but I'm worried I'm gonna have to move to a more liberal-minded and populated area or risk perpetual spinsterhood, LOL 😅 I really want a partner and children but am struggling to find a man who doesn't get hung up on something as superficial as me having a bigger income.
Edit: daaamn you guys are on fire! I don't think I can keep up with replying to you all, but just want to say thanks to everyone who shared their feedback, whether we agree or not. It's all been interesting and helpful. You guys rock! ✌️