I (F22) was talking to someone (M21) for an intense 4 weeks. By the 4th week, after hanging out regularly and spending a shitload of time together, he suddenly told me he was embarking on a religious journey, wanted to study the Quran, and
planned on traveling to Egypt to become an Islamic scholar. A part of his plan involved cutting off all women to resist temptation. He also mentioned
feeling like I could be his future wife, so he wanted to do things “the right way” (in terms of Islam) with me to ensure things happened smoothly. I was
somewhat confused because he never seemed religious, and he even outright told me he wasn’t on our first date, but regardless, I was respectful of and tried to be understanding of his plan. Following that, we were out of contact for a few weeks. During that time, he offered to drop off one of my belongings he was borrowing, but I told him another time would be better for him to drop it off. Another time comes along, and he tells me he threw away my belonging & gives me 3 reasons for why: (1) it wasn’t of use to him, (2) he thought there was beef between us (although we ended on good terms), and (3) he didn’t want a souvenir of something he regrets that led him astray from his religious path. I didn’t respond to his message essentially saying I was a regret, dehumanizing me, and belittling our time together. A few weeks later, out of the kindness of my heart, I start feeling bad for icing his last message, so I messaged him to let him know there’s no hostility on my end, and he answered politely. The next night I am out and see him with a woman on the sidewalk. They start cuddling and kissing, so I opened my window and said “Interesting..” loud enough for them to hear. He looked mortified and dumbfounded Imaooo. Then I texted him: “I see you found God. In the back of that girl’s throat.” He didn’t respond, but he did block me on Instagram. I am so confused because I really feel like dude liked me, and he even called me his wife behind my back… but was he just maintaining his lies off the stage? I feel delusional in retrospect. I look back on our time together and question everything. He lied so much and was so committed to his lies he even involved God. I’m doing a good job coping with this, but I worry about trusting people in the future because something kind of similar happened in the past. I wonder if there was overlap with me and this girl, if he was cheating on her the whole time with me and I was just a side piece…
I just need yall to drag this man with me pls
TL;DR: I was in a situationship with a man that ended because he claimed he wanted to pursue religion more heavily. He got caught in his lies and was really just hooking up with other women I’m pretty sure
2 comments
This man sounds unhealthy at best. At worst? Laughably childish, perhaps.
I suppose it hurts, but you also dodge a massive bullet here, because the contrast between him wanting to be all religious and cuddling-and-kissing on the sidewalk sounds like he has quite a lot to work on.
I’m sorry you experience this, OP. I’m sending you a virtual hug.
If he were a “master manipulator,” you wouldn’t have figured it out in four weeks. He’s an immature child. Don’t give him more credit than he deserves.