This has happened to me a few times. Most recently, this past week, with a guy I'd dated for about 6 weeks. He seemed very into me physically, was always doting on me, always texting, etc. We had similar lifestyles and interests.
Then, out of the blue, he says, "I don't think we're romantically compatible but want to be friends." I was very confused. There was no indication. I asked to meet and talk about the incompatibilities for my own closure. He said yes but is out of town, so we've yet to do so.
I've dated men in the past who've brought up incompatibilities when breaking up. I realized that, for some, the incompatibilities were simply them not communicating with me what they were feeling. For example, I've been told by multiple men that I can be difficult to read – my face, body language, etc. – and sometimes I'm very quiet. Nothing is wrong, but it will appear so. This guy brought it up on our very last date and I suspect plays into the incompatibilities he means. But he never said it bothered him, just something he noticed. I wish he'd said something, in which ways I'm hard to read, so that I could've been more open with him. It's not hard for me once I know, but until I know, it seems like a wall I put up.
And if it's something to do with hobbies, well, I realize that's more important to some than others. I feel like it shouldn't be the deal breaker some people (e.g. my ex) make it out to be. For myself, this is especially true because I often adopt my partner's hobbies in a relationship, since I enjoy spending time with them doing what they like. For example, this guy. I was interested in participating in some of his hobbies, but he never invited me, so I thought he wanted to do them alone or with his friends, when perhaps he was just waiting for me to tag along.
It's almost like these guys feel they shouldn't need to communicate such things, that things should be easy and perfect. It seems shortsided and immature, in a way. They forget they're dating another, independent individual. They don't want to put in the effort of discussion, even if simple communication would alleviate the little voice in their head screaming, "Incompatible!"
This has been very frustrating. We'll see what this guy says, but I expect to leave the conversation more confused than I am now. I really did think he liked me a lot, and so it just hurts to know that he chose to break it off instead of communicating.
Tl;dr: multiple men in my life have mentioned incompatibilities when breaking up that they never discussed prior. Do men break things off because it's easier than communicating? It makes me wonder, were we truly incompatible, or were we just not talking? It's frustrating and I don't know how to advocate for myself without seeming desperate.