Friends with benefits

11 comments

1. For FWB, you need to limit the amount of talking to a bare minimum. Make the vibe seem like you are both coworkers and only meet when YOU have to. It’s often better to text the FWB two days after you hang out with them, this should keep feelings of attachment to a minimum also if THEY are getting clingy, threaten them by calling the whole thing off.

2. FWB usually never last long but with proper communication and whatever personal boundaries you want to ascribe, you can have something that will work out well for a while.

3. From experience, if you want a FWB, you literally have to remove the friends element. One of you will get attached otherwise. You need to establish it from the very very start that you want FWB, and refrain from talking to them outside of asking them to hook up. That’s the only way it works out without emotional attachment from either side

4. For me it works because the basis is a friendship. We respect each other and are able to communicate about everything. But there are no expectations, nothing is on a regular basis. We talk whenever we feel like it and hang out whenever we feel like it and sometimes we end up having sex and sometimes we don’t. You’ll have to communicate, be open and honest what you want and need and make sure you’re both on the same page

5. Yeah we emphasize friendship part as well more than anything else. We were respectful, honest with one another. We would go do regular things such as going to bars, restaurant, hike etc.. we would text through out the week. I know we cared for one another as friends, but we knew we were not compatible in the long run. When things ended it was a good cordial ending. Some ppl may say we were more casual dating rather than fwb but it worked for us

6. Honestly? Don’t be their friend for real. Don’t hangout too much, don’t text/call everyday, don’t share things about your intimate life, etc.

   If you’re REALLY friends with someone and have sex with them, you’ll probably end up catching romantic feelings. Sex is a very, very intimate activity and once that boundary is crossed with a real friend, it’s hard to come back.

   Fwb relationships are essentially about casual sex, so stick to it.

7. Mostly I think this is about personalities. Some people can have sex without getting attached, some can not. If you’re already worrying about this, fwb might not be for you.

   Thought experienment: you had great sex, then never hear from the person again. Win or loss? If that thought makes you sad, it’s not for you.

   The other thing I can think of is don’t sleep with people you’d want to be in a relationship with. If you can sense: “this is a person I could crush on” it’s not the best idea. If “the right person” for a fwb thing is someone amazing, who you’d otherwise like to date? That will be tricky.

   You can’t prevent feelings the way you prevent pregnancy. Being naked is intimate in itself. Doesn’t help to say “let’s not discuss our days” or whatever.
   Also, the sex won’t be that great if you decide to basically not talk to the person at all outside of sex. Bc again, sex is intimate. It requires some trust and communication.

8. The boundaries are: if someone gets emotionally involved it has to end right then and there.

9. Would recommend leaving immediately after you hookup if possible. Don’t cuddle, hold hands,
   call pet names, talk about your family, talk about the future, make future plans etc. stay very surface level in conversations

   People get feelings and I would recommend avoiding this whole situation and just having a one off. The month of fun weekends wasn’t worth the month of pain getting over a girl I should have never liked to begin with haha. Whats funny is at one point we were literally watching tv show with this plot and we were talking about how much better hooking up is.. 2 weeks later we both had kinda caught feelings.

10. [deleted]

11. Don’t be friends. Just have sex. The more you get involved in his or her life, the more you start feeling attached.