My sons girlfriend is a few months pregnant, recently her parents kicked her out. I’ve been considering letting her live with us since my son is partially responsible for this and it is his baby. My son doesn’t want her living with us, for no reason other than the fact she’s still having the baby even though he didn’t want her to. He’s threatening to move out if she moves in, so I’m not entirely sure what to do in this situation
41 comments
yes. let her move in and let him move out. he’s being a jerk, and I’m sure she would appreciate the support
Yes, let her move in. Sucks to sucks that he made an adult decision and now needs to live with the consequences of their actions. He can kick rocks if he’s trying to have his gf and baby live on the streets.
She’s pregnant with your grandchild and has nowhere to go and no parental support. Your son is half responsible for this happening. I think it would be very good of you to let her move in. He can move out if he likes
Kid’s got to learn some responsibilities. He made a baby. He took the risk. Now he lives with the consequences. It’s very kind of you to offer her a home and support, and he needs to learn to take a role in that too.
Kick him out, take her in. If you’re in the US then the court is about to be on bos ass anyway so he might as well grow up.
Yes, unless you don’t give a shit about your grandchild.
If your son is old enough to have unprotected sex then he’s old enough to deal with the consequences.
Imagine if it were your daughter, I’m sure she’d be grateful for the kindness and support she’s offered.
So, he didn’t want to keep the baby. Did he offer to pay for the abortion or offer to take responsibility in any way at all? This is a teachable moment for him. “Son, this is why condoms are a thing. This little baby did not ask to be born, YOU called the child into being by not being safe. This is not a “do-over” situation, and now you have to help take responsibility for it. You can move out if you like, but you’re still going to get attached for child support and the like because you are the father.”
I would say take her in but probably try and confront her parents about it. They literally cause this by offering no support to her.
Yes, your son is going to be a father.
The girl carrying your grandchild needs help and your son is being selfish!!
Son might as well get a job so he can pay child support. If he didn’t want a kid, he should not have had sex. Birth control fails and babies happen.
Time to hold son responsible for his actions, he needs a wakeup call!!
Where is you’re son going to go if he moves out?
This sounds like an empty threat by him.
Would you want your grandchild living on the street or in a shelter? Because essentially you’re not just turning away a girl that your son doesn’t want around, you’re turning away your grandchild (potentially), and your grandchild’s mother. Who gives a shit what your son wants? That’s what happens when you get someone pregnant, all your wants go out the window and now everything is about giving that baby the best life possible. With them being so young, you as future grandparents are most likely going to almost be secondary parents and care takers to the this child unfortunately.
What is in the best interests of the baby? Do that.
“partially” Lol “even though he didn’t want her to”
Your thoughts about this situation come across very clearly in the way you’ve worded your post. That said, you should give her and your grandchild a safe place to live would be the right thing to do. It’s admirable that you are considering it and I hope you decide to welcome them into your home.
Tell your son you thought you raised him better than this and that she is moving in and he can leave if he wants to
Grandbaby takes priority. Son is 18, if he wants to get a job and move out, he can do that (though I seriously doubt he does after he looks around at rent prices).
What do you want to do nana? I’m assuming that you want to let her live there and support her? You can’t force your son to be a dad and he should stand up to his responsibilities but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a grandparent. Tell him that.
baby comes first. so if he leaves oh well
While something needs to be done, I’m not sure if moving her into yours is a long term solution. Can you start advocating for her with social services or help her get into accommodation? What does she want? I doubt she will want to live with your son as most teen parent relationships fail.
Your son needs support to accept his responsibilities and moving her in will potentially cause him to leave which will be in nobody’s best interest. Also why is the girl getting kicked out? parents aren’t allowed to make their pregnant children homeless. Report them to social services.
Paternity test first. Then yes absolutely.
Time for your son to step up to the plate. The mother of your grandchild needs support. That’s who takes the priority right now.
Unless I am missing something I feel for this girl. Yea, I would do all you could to help her and your grandchild.
Easy. Your grandchild trumps your child. Your kid is old enough to make mistakes, but your grandchild isn’t. He doesn’t have to like it, but it’s your house, and your rules.
Yes the answer is yes you should give her a safe and warm place to live and bring your grandchild back too ! You want to have a good relationship with her so no matter what happens between her and your son she will always trust you with their child .
Yes let her move in and smack son upside the head. He was man enough to get her pregnant, he can be man enough now. I would not let up the pressure on him.
And what exactly is the downside to him moving out? He’s going to be a deadbeat dad either way, I’d rather support the mother and my grandchild then him.
I think it depends on what you want in the future. Do you consider the baby your grandchild and want to have a relationship with them? Then you should probably let the girl move in. Do you on the other hand not care all that much about this baby and girl and would rather make sure your relationship with your son stays strong? Then don’t let the girl move in. In the end your son isn’t acting like a mature person but at the same time it’s up to you to decide which relationship you want to preserve
Invite her in with open arms. Your son charmed her enough to get her pregnant. If he’s trying to get out, tell your son to get stuffed and move out if he doesn’t want to be there because you’re going to support your grandchild. Invite her in with open arms, to hell with what your son thinks. Don’t just accept your grandchild, accept the woman your son got pregnant.
If your son wants to bitch out and disappear, that’s on him.
Just putting this out there. Her parents can take him and you can take her and the grand baby.
Is she still is girl friend? And did she plan to trap him by getting pregnant? I would pick my kid all day everyday but that’s me.
You are doing the right thing, your son needs to grow up and be responsible for his actions.
Should’ve worn a condom. He needs to suck it up
Fix your son first… he needs to take responsibility.
Your son is an adult. Whether he wanted this child or not, he will be responsible for supporting that child for the next 18 years.
Having said that it is not the child’s fault to be born into the cluster f*** situation its going to be coming into.
Being a teenage mother especially a single one is a whole lot of challenges that no child should have to face. But that is what this child will be experiencing from now on. Of course you should welcome her with open arms and make sure that that child has a Loving warm & secure place to come in to start life from a positive vantage point.
What your son wants or doesn’t want is irrelevant now. His sole focus should be on finding a way to provide for his child and maintain an amicable relationship with the mother if they are done as a couple. Co parenting is hard – even for mature adults.
Is adoption an option?
1. it’s her body. he should’ve thought about using condoms if he doesn’t want her to get pregnant
2. he made that baby, he is responsible. then let him move out. if he doesn’t want to learn to take responsibility at home he will have to when he lives alone.
Yes let her move in. Your grandchild and grandchild’s mother need support. What’s the alternative for them? A shelter, the streets? If your son wants to move out, I guess that means he can support himself so he can move out.
Let her move in to ensure your grandchild has a safe place to live when born. Sit your son down for a long talk about responsibility and doing the right thing even when it’s scary and not what he wanted.
Personally my son comes first. I would feel bad for her and help as much as I can with money and make my son as well. But I’m not trading my son for the girl.
While your son is partially responsible, his choice was not to get involved. That may or may not change but you need to let him change his mind. Having the girl in your house is a weird dynamic for everyone. Definitely help her but do everything short of moving her in.
Edited to add:. Or you can work on your son to get him to change his mind.
So he didn’t want her to have a baby and neither did her parents, she is in for a rough life being a single mom. Respect your sons wishes, she needs to know what it means to make these kind of decisions
Let her move in that’s your grandchild in her stomach and your son should feel responsibility for it cause it takes two to tango