What is something that was said to you that completely changed how you feel about yourself?

10 comments

1. “you smell nice” by a woman

2. Just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you can be a dick. Helped me with perspective 🤣

3. So there was an unreciprocated crush I’d had in college. I went about trying to get to know her poorly. I’d invited her to a movie night with a mutual friend, the friend texted beforehand asking if I wanted to be alone with her, I said yes so the other friend didn’t come. She’d said some time afterwards that she hates when guys do manipulative things like that, not knowing that’s what had happened. I admitted I’d done that and apologized. I felt terrible about it and knew I’d blown the opportunity, but she was right in that it was manipulative. Thankfully she’s really cool and we continued being friends (and still are to this day!).

   Some time after that, her sorority sister asked her what she thought about me and she said “Honestly? He’s one of the rare people that genuinely tries to be a good person”. I ended up dating the sorority sister for 2 years and didn’t know about this until about halfway into it.

   It means a whole lot. I went into a helping profession and it can really wear you down. Hearing the validation that I’m on the right track means a whole hell of a lot.

4. Sophomore year of high school had a senior who I really admired tell me I was cool.

   It really helped me accept myself.

5. Girl in school told me that I was poor and ugly. It really did a number on my self esteem, but it also served to motivate me to change what I could. I’m no longer poor, and my wife thinks I’m cute so win win!

6. That i had a victim mentality. Always woe is me.
   Never think about the other person feel, why they acted the way they did.

   Change the way i approach life, always accountable and try much harder to feel what others feel vs what i feel first.

7. “you don’t have to react to everything that’s said to you”

   I used to take things personally or feel the need to explain/defend myself if somebody said something highly critical. After lots of work on myself through therapy and just general increased confidence and security in who I am, I realized that they were right. Somebody can call me an asshole and have whatever opinion they please but as long as I’m happy and happy with who I am, I don’t have to give a single fuck nor do I have to apologize.

   Now to be fair, there are things I’ve said or opinions I’ve shared that I recognize some might take offense to *because of their own insecurities* like expressing how I think that **for me**, marriage or kids would be stupid. I never said it’s stupid for anybody else, just stupid for me and my lifestyle – yet this really offends some people. The beautiful thing is, I’m secure and confident in who I am so I can sit there and smile when they try and call me a jerk for having an opinion that differs from theirs. I don’t have to react, I don’t have to care.

8. In the aftermath of my first divorce, a friend told me, “When it comes to women, you are your own worst enemy. You need to get your head out of your ass and start setting your sights higher.” It pissed me off at the time but he was perfectly correct because in those days I was one of those misguided idiots who put women up on pedestals and thought that I had to “settle.” Took several more years to break out of that mindset.

9. “Every time you walk into a room you light it up”

10. He was bigger