TLDR: My (26f) boyfriend (30m) is backing out of the move because my parents (60f, 63m) wont let him have a camera pointed at his rabbit and pc setup for security that they previously agreed too, what do I do? How do I solve this?
My boyfriend (30m) and I (26f) have been together for almost 5 years, and have lived together in an apartment for almost the same amount of the time. We were friends for a while before dating so we moved in together probably faster than most people would tbh, and its been great. What hasn't been great is the economy, we are paying over double what we did for rent when we got the apartment and despite getting higher paying jobs we are barely able to pay for rent and save for a house. My parents just sold their house and bought a new one that is set up very nicely for someone to rent, basement has its own fridge, small kitchen, full bathroom etc. We have a dog together, and a free-roam rabbit (litter trained), and finding apartments that allow animals for the price we can afford has just been impossible. So the timing of my parents getting this house lines up with our lease ending and I brought up the idea to my boyfriend to see if he would be comfortable. He's not stoked about it, and neither am I because parents are parents, but we agree that having a lower rent is what's most important right now. For reference our current rent is about $1500/month and my parents would charge $350/month and a $350 refundable deposit. They are making us sign a legal agreement which is a bit disappointing but we are clean and respectful so I'm not too concerned about it.
The problem we are now having is that we like to have a camera on our rabbit to watch him, he is very old for a rabbit and its honestly just fun to be able to check on him while we are out and about. When we were just starting to move stuff over there my dad and I had a quick conversation about it and he said he was fine with the bunny cam. Well we are mostly moved in now, just have to get a uhaul for our big furniture, and my boyfriend went over there to move some smaller stuff without me today and they gave him the legal agreement without me present. In the agreement it states no security cameras, I guess my mom said she's paranoid about cameras and doesn't want them, even if it is just pointed at the bunny and doesn't save the footage. He came home and was extremely upset about this, here is where I need help navigating this issue.
My boyfriend has some deep trauma regarding the security of his stuff, he also is autistic and has adhd and is on different medications for it. His stepdad used to steal his medication and his electronics and sell them for money to fuel his addiction. He broke door locks, busted open his safes, and eventually this pushed him to move out at 18. He wants the bunny cam as a way to monitor the rabbit, his pc setup (worth a couple grand) and his safes with his medication it it, and to be clear all of this is in a large storage room so no one would be on camera accidentally. I recognize and validate his feelings while also thinking this is a little irrational, but it makes him feel better so I can't really change his mind. My parents are the most boring, basic boomers (not trying to be mean this is just a fact that they would agree to) and obviously would have no reason to steal his meds or electronics, they don't really have friends they regularly hang out with so people coming in the house is not something that will happen often, also we work opposite schedules, He works 9am-5pm I work 8pm-4:30am and we have different off days so one of us will always be there.
Nobody wants to compromise. I have talked to my parents twice now and they just are not comfortable with a camera, even if we got one that didn't have audio, and doesn't keep the footage. Boyfriend said he is not comfortable living there without the camera and is not willing to give it up long term, only until he can find somewhere else to stay. I am torn because I feel like I'm caught in the middle and understand both sides of this issue. I really don't want to live apart from him, especially for the dogs sake I don't want her to have to be carted back and forth between him and I. I am a little bit concerned on how the relationship will pan out if we don't live together. I trust him but the fact that our schedules are so different would make it so hard to see each other if we didn't live together. Help.