My wife and I are both in our mid 30's and we have been together since we were 19. When we do have sex we have great sex, but over the last 3 years her initiating sex has tapered off. I initiate 90% of the time. It used to be 50/50, she's had her hormones checked but the gyno said she's at regular levels. She just says she doesn't think about sex very often. If I initiate and she's not in the mood she will offer to let me "have it". But sex without her being into it kinda kills it for me. So I sometimes decline unless I'm really horny. Here is the weird part, id say about 75% of the time when she's just letting me have it about half way though she gets into it and starts asking for different positions or for me to eat her, which I happily do without question. But is it common for a women to go from dead stop non aroused at all to being into after she let's me "have it"?
I just want her to have fun and to always orgasm first. It's like her body has forgotten that she enjoys sex. And let me be clear too I don't hound her for sex or think she owes me sex. Physical touch is my love language, and it does hurt when I feel like she doesn't want me the same way I want her.