Me and my friends use the word “bud” commonly like we do with “bro” or “dude”. I’m not talking bro talk.
I’m referring to people who aren’t friends with, such as strangers or co-workers that probably shouldn’t be calling you buddy.
For example, I had fast food for lunch today. While ordering in the drive thru the guy called me bud once. I didn’t think much of it. But at the window he called me bud five more times – in a matter of one minute.
So I finally told him “thank you, sport” and it didn’t sit well with me to disrespect someone I don’t know. I thought about saying “I’m not your bud, so don’t call me that” but it just sounds almost defensive.
Anybody else have a good way to get over getting upset at this?
27 comments
Don’t come to Canada. It’s basically a gender neutral pronoun here.
I’m not your buddy, guy!
Whatever pal
Got called “bossman” by the guy working at the post office today. Not sure how to take that one.
It’s fine. There are much worse things to get bothered by.
I think you’re being too sensitive, there are far worse ways for a stranger or colleague to refer to you. Especially the stranger, why are you even bothered in the slightest? Spend your energy on things that actually matter in your life.
Stop taking it so personally. People arent saying it to annoy/demean/disrespect/ you. It’s most likely just a term they’re comfortable with, it has nothing to do with you. If you let little things like this get to you then you’ll end up living a pretty miserable life. There are much more serious things in this world you can give your attention to.
It sounds slightly condescending when coming from an older dude…
> “I’m not your bud, so don’t call me that
um, what’s wrong with being friendly with everyone? It’s not like he was insulting you or intentionally antagonizing you.
Bud, man, bro, dude…they’re just trying to address you and not be formal like calling you sir.
You’re getting upset over nothing. Just simmer down, bro.
Listen here pal
IMO tone and intent matters.
I find especially at work in corporate- bud can be used condescendingly and gives people a pass to not acknowledge someone’s name or identity. Unless we’re on good terms and know each other professionally and work closely, don’t call me bud/buddy/whatever, address me by my first name. after we build a working rapport- I would say its fine to address each other as that.
Its hard to read that tone on a call, email or message however so I recommend giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and responding with respect and kindness. But if you find it to be a common trend, especially at work with the same person, I would chat with that person and communicate expectations.
Buddy, dude, boss, etc.; all perfectly normal where I grew up/live. I think you’re finding something to complain about that isn’t meant in any sort of negative fashion. I take it more as people (like myself) just suck at remembering names so unless it’s a friend, it’s a lot easier to say “thanks, buddy” to the guy at the bodega, or “thanks, dude” to a stranger that gives you a hand, or “good call, boss” to a coworker. 🤷🏽♂️
First world problem
Calm down pal.
There are so many better things to be concerned about.
This is like jumping down somebody’s throat for asking you, “how are you doing?”
Like did they really care? Probably not but it a nice pleasantry that people use to be friendly.
What you said doesn’t sound defensive. Defensive is when you repel an oncoming attack. What you said sounded OFFENSIVE. As in, you were the one waging the attack on a fast food guy just trying to help you.
Question: do you look young for your age? I do, and I’ve gotten the bud/buddy thing a lot. Yeah, I find it a little condescending, but it’s not something I worry much about.
I’ve also found that it happens much less often when I look like I’m taking care of myself (dressing well, combing my hair, working out, walking with confidence, etc.).
Shooting back with “sport” seems like a perfectly fine response if you feel you need to respond at all. Afterall, if being called bud/buddy isn’t an insult then why should they complain about being called “sport”? Making a fuss about it will just make you look insecure.
As a grown man with curly hair, I had to get used to being called buddy
You aren’t wrong, and you’re not imagining things. People have different intentions. Sometimes it is innocent, and sometimes it’s a really pathetic power move attempt. This one definitely sounds like the latter. Don’t let weirdos gaslight you into not trusting your gut.
That said, you can’t let it bother you, nothing good can come of it. Go work out harder instead. The more confident you are in yourself, the more these attempts will just make you feel sad for the person attempting them, or like laughing in their face.
Chief, boss, bud, buddy, pal, guy…all totally normal terms among some guys, especially older, blue collar types. I think you’re being a bit too sensitive it you take offence or find it disrespectful.
Would you prefer to be called “sir” or “mister” all the time? Honestly, to me, that sounds weirder but obviously this is a cultural/regional thing because those would be totally normal terms to use in a lot of places.
So fucking much. I’m not your 8 yo nephew
oh dam. didnt realize some ppl felt so strongly about this. i say “buddy” to my direct report.
I honestly don’t like it either, maybe I’m just wound up? There just seems to be something condescending and disingenuous about “Buddy”, immediately fills my rage bar when I hear it.
Seriously?
nope. It’s just a friendly greeting. It’s not a personal attack.
Sounds like he called you “bud” initially without even seeing you. He’s a fast food worker who interacts with literally thousands of customers per day. He has zero feelings about you personally
edit: Don’t come to Australia because people will call you “mate” too. I’ve yet to mate with anyone I call “mate”
I don’t like it.
I feel often times that it’s used when someone cannot say your name, don’t care to use your name, don’t know your name, or believes in their subconscious that you are beta. I know I should ‘t think like this but I equate it to ‘lowlives’ when it’s used.