Last night my girlfriend found and open my journal that I left on a table, while I was showering. She opened it and read one page. On that page, I wrote down preparation for a meeting with my therapist, where I wrote down what I want to talk about. I mentioned some deppresing thoughts that I used to have, but it was nothing major, nothing about our relationship.
She came to me and told me, that she knows that she has done a bad thing, and she shouldnt have done it, but that she found my journal, read it and cant stop thinking about things that were there. She said that she feels threatened because I didnt share those depresing thoughts with her.
I was in shock, because these were my thoughts for myself and for my therapist to talk about, not for her to read and fantasize about the meaning of all that. There was no infidelity or nothing major that would threaten our relationship, or was connected to it on that page. However, she thought that these thoughts are connected to her. I explained all the things that were there, the context of the page, that it was a preparation for my therapy. I was angry and dissappointed about her lurking in my private stuff but my voice was calm, I just felt empty, disappointed and really sad. She said that she didnt think that it was my journal, she just opened it. She is not sure why but she thought I might have my art there and whe wanted to look. Then she started to read and after one page, she stopped and told me right away.
I dont knowt if I can trust her anymore. when I was eplained how I feel, that it was a horrible thing that hurt me, she said that Im too cruel, that if she knew that it is my journal she would have never opened it. She cried a lot because I said that I am disappointed and angry because she invaded my privacy, she said that Im not listening to her and then she said she must leave the house because she cant handle it. I was so confused because I felt didnt do anything wrong but she is leaving me now, because she cant face the fact she did a shitty thing and she is afraid that I will break up with her. I asked her to stay, but I was in shock she wanted to leave. She stayed in the end.
I dont know what to do and will appreciate your help. I had no idea she has it inside her to invade my privacy like that. Also I was really scared by the way she reacted to the conflict, with threatening to leave and hysterical cry. I feel scared that now I will walk on eggshells with her, and be scared that she might do it again. Also Im worried about how will she react in other situations, when she was so quickly threatening me with leaving.
I dont want to lose a relationship that was until recently really good, but my trust was shaken and I dont know how to continue from here. Do you think there is a way to rebuild trust in this case? Am I overreacting? How should I procceed with this situation?
TLDR: Girlfriend read my journal, then wanted to leave because she was afraid I will break up with her, how to continue from here?