We’ve been together now going on 5 years, it’s been an absolutely wonderful relationship and we never really had any issues until his father moved to our country last November.
We went to a family dinner when he moved here so I could finally meet him, I was looking forward to it so much but instead it was one of the most awful nights.
I’m 10 years old than my partner and his father thinks this is downright wrong and bad. (Mind you his father is married to a woman who’s 22 years older than him as well) the entire night I was questioned about my motives, why I’m with him, do I plan on holding him back in life and if I am “forcing” him into having a child and locking him up for life.
We left that dinner both quite emotional and sad. My partner was really upset for how his father treated me and showed genuine remorse. He told me from now on I don’t need to show at family events and if he went it would only be shortly out of courtesy.
Well that’s not what happened unfortunately, he’s been getting closer and closer to his father. Calling him often, going out for drinks etc. I obviously love this for him and am very glad he finally can build a relationship.
But the issue is, he seems to be slowly turning into his father now.
All his previous views about life, kids, women etc. are changing to nearly exactly what his fathers are. He often comes home telling me that something I’ve done was “controlling” or that I’m acting “insane”. “He lost his 20s to me” these were things I could never comprehend him even saying.
We have been trying to get pregnant for several months now and I finally found out I am!! The both of us were overjoyed with the news. He ran to his phone and went to call his dad, his laughs and big smile suddenly turned to a frown. The tone became very serious and didn’t sound fun anymore. (They both speak a language I do not understand)
After the call I asked how it went and he only said: yeah it was fine.
Since this call a week ago him and his father have been calling nearly daily for long periods of time. Each call sounds serious and just no joy.
This last Saturday I had to drive my kids from a previous marriage to their fathers for the summer. I’d be coming back home this morning.
Well last night out of nowhere while driving my partner calls me; he told me he just had dinner with his dad and has decided he can’t do this anymore. He will let me know in the future when he wants to see the kid but from now on there will be no more contact and he hung up the phone.
In utter shock I called him back and I was already blocked. All platforms, blocked.
I came home this morning, all his things gone. House is just so empty. I spent a few hours holding his pillow and crying in disbelief and didn’t realize while doing so I missed 4 calls from him.
I tried calling back, but once again blocked.
I wondering if there is anything I can do about this? Or how if he ever does come back I can approach the topic of his father maybe being the controlling one. It’s a sensitive topic and I don’t want to be the one to ruin the relationship, but his father has now ruined mine and taken the father of my child from me with his crazy ideas.
What would be a safe way to discuss this topic? Is this worth saving? Should I just give up and move on?