what would you do if you found out your friend was daring a married person?

30 comments

  1. Depends. Does my friend know they’re married?

    If not, I’d tell my friend immediately. If yes, I’d ask them to rethink their life choices and probably end our friendship.

  2. Unless I’m also friends with the person getting cheated on I wouldn’t care.

  3. Depends on the context. Is it ethical or not? If it’s not ethical, then I’ll tell them so and distance myself from them.

    If this is a situation where everyone is openly communicating, being honest with each other, and consenting to this type of arrangement, then I don’t care about their specific marital statuses. If anyone involved is not informed and not consenting, then it’s not ethical non-monogamy

  4. Make sure my friend knows and then stay the hell out of it. Most people only understand fire after they’ve been burned.

  5. Judge them furiously to myself and change the subject if they tried to bring it up. Assuming the person they were seeing was cheating and they knew that, that is. Would be different if the marriage was open or my friend was unaware of it.

  8. are they knowingly dating a married person? If yes- I’d have a serious conversation with them to rethink this and that even if he did somehow eventually leave his wife for her… what’s stopping him from cheating on her and leaving her eventually for whatever woman he finds next?

    if she doesn’t know he’s married and I somehow do, I’d come with as many receipts as I possibly could for evidence and proof and then I’d tell them I’m sorry that I’m how they’re finding this out. I’d ask them what they want to do about it, how, when, etc. and what I can do to help support them through it. If they then decide they’re fine with it and want to stay with him, reroute to the first blurb of text I wrote lmao.

  9. Be disappointed in them but respect that it’s none of my business. Their life, their mistakes to learn…

  10. Nothing?

    Maybe they’re dating someone polyamorous, maybe it’s an open marriage situation, maybe it’s an abusive marriage that can’t be left for fear of violence

    Why judge a situation I don’t even have a quarter of the information about?

    Marriage is just a government contract

  11. It happened, he was cheating. I told her she was being used and I don’t approve of cheating so don’t involve me in that mess if she insisted on continuing, unless she wanted my honesty about it. I would not be the ‘he can’t see me, hes with his wife’  pats-on-the-back-poor-you person.  She deserve so much better than a cheating loser. 

     But I’d be there when he got tired of her and ditched her of the wayside as cheaters usually do.

     If it’s an open relationship then no issue 

  13. not worry about it? maybe they’re open? maybe the person cheating us in an abusive relationship? maybe they’re a grown adult who just wants to cheat and can choose that for themselves. in your scenario, the friend isn’t really doing anything wrong, the other persons marriage isn’t their responsibility. the fault for cheating lies solely with the cheater, or in rare occasions the person being cheated on.

  17. Honestly I’ve leaned that if someone has such a low morality in their life choices they would do someone like that to me given the chance, so I would stop being close friends with them

  19. None of my business in any case. But, since most of my circle are poly and ENM, and only date other poly/ENM folks, if they wanted to share about their relationship I’d be happy for them.

    If they’re (knowingly) seeing a married person who is not poly/enm/open ethically, that’s still not my business, but I’d be worried for them.

  20. Tell them I want no part of it, and no more knowledge past this point. If asked I will deny everything and stay the hell out of that shitshow at all costs.

  21. Most of my friends are consensually non-monogamous, as am I, so I wouldn’t blink an eye about this unless the married person was in fact monogamous and cheating on their partner.

  22. Ummm it depends?

    If the married person is cheating and my friend doesn’t know, I’d tell them.

    If they’re cheating and my friend does know, I’d ask how this even happened, talk about their feelings, and talk about facts. Being the other man/woman shows you immediately that this person they’re dating isn’t trustworthy. I’d be concerned for them.

    If it’s an open marriage or some other form of ethical non-monogamy, I guess I wouldn’t think much of it lol

  23. Assuming that it’s a cheating/non-consensual scenario, I think this is one of those things where they have a right to do what they want, and it isn’t my place to shame them for it, but I am also free to decide not to be friends with someone whom I feel does not share my values and whose actions make me feel uncomfortable

  24. Distance myself from her. Women who knowingly cheat with married men (and vice versa) are not trustworthy people, and she will eventually turn on you.

  27. Disappointed, angry, worried, confused. And I’d express all of that to them. They’d know very definitively where I stand on their *relationship*.

  28. Gather evidences, then tell the other person’s spouse.

    One time, friend A was approached by someone who’s already in a relationship with another friend of mine. Mind you, that dude was A’s crush before and it made her excited. Knew the dude was having plans, so I told her to get the fuck out. A few months later, him and my other friend broke up.

  29. I would make sure my friend knows. All of my friends don’t date anyone who is married or in a relationship it’s a hard boundary for all of us. If I found out that they knew the person was married I would drop them. I refuse to allow that karma in my life and it’s a shit show waiting to happen

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