So I, 24F, have a knack for wishful thinking hence my current issue.
We started seeing each other 5/6 years ago. A few months in I developed feeling and he wanted to keep things casual so we broke it off initially and re connects few month later for a casual relationship. This went on on/off for a few years and continued after I moved an inconvenient distance. We would see each other when I was visiting friends in his city but after a while my reasons to be in his city apart from him dried up.
This is when I suggested that next time I could come and visit him, but he said that he didn’t think that was a good idea but would still like to see me when I am around. I explained that I wouldn’t be around anymore if I wasn’t seeing him and he reiterated his point, we were 3/4 years in at that point.
That’s when I blocked him. I don’t subscribe to the sunk cost fallacy and took that as my sign to dip. A year later I ended up removing everyone who didn’t pose a literal threat to me from my block list (I also didn’t expect anyone on that list to contact me again). Low and behold after a year of no contact he contacted me again. We’ve been talking for a few months now almost daily but I don’t understand his MO, no sexual innuendo or passes, no visitations planned, no mention of returning to our old arrangement.
I’ve been getting sentimental because we talk about our plans for the future and the families we want and how much we’ve grown over the years (I know there’s still a lot to go) and it feels really comfortable. I’ve dated and still date MANY other people but I can’t match the feelings I have/had for him, unfortunately. This has left be with questions.
Do men like having pen pals?
I’ve never had a man I had a sexual relationship with want to be my friend, is that normal?
Why would he come back?
How do I get rid of that feeling?
Am I reading too much into the whole situation?
I haven’t brought it up because I fear rejection again and don’t think my pride could take it. I also think it will put an end to my delusion. Advice?
TL;DR: 24F had an on/off relationship with a guy for years, blocked him when he didn't commit. He reached out again after a year, now they're friends with no romance. Unsure why he came back and how to handle my feelings.