Like holy shit. I really can't believe that I'm going to turn 40 years old this year. I've done fuck all with my life so far, struggling with mental health issues for most of adult life. I feel about as mature and sure about myself as my 11 year old nephew, but more optimistic about my future then I've ever felt in my life. But damnit, I also feel like so many quality years have passed me by already. I seriously can't believe I'm this age. It's just shocking how little I've done with my life, and how much I would like to with my life, despite being this old.


23 comments

  1. 41 here. I hear you on this. Look back at the good you’ve done and know that you still have many years left. You’re wiser and can still do alot of things!

    Travel. Have as many new experiences as possible. Whatever they may be.

    That’s what slows down time, and what keeps you young!

  3. I feel this. I’m 38 and have spent 18 years working. Feels like all my plans and travel goals have gone by the wayside as the daily grind took hold.

  4. Then start living it…..”you can’t add days to your life but you can add life to your days”

  6. I’m turning 40 in sept. For 10 years of my life I spent it in a relationship that was fairly boring and was always told no. I’ve worked hard af in the oilfield and 2 years ago, 2 years post separation I landed a company man position that afforded me the actual understanding of the life work balance.

    I am a legit full time father of a boy (this month 8) and daughter (next month 11) and now I take ever opportunity to live life. I learned to longboard and longboard every single day the snow isn’t around. We paddleboard as much as possible-I even purchased a truck and turned it into a sort of overland rig to get me to alpine lakes for weekends. I work 8 hour days and refuse to answer my phone to my 44 guys after 2pm or on the weekends now.

    I don’t chase women and honestly feel life is easier without them although I definitely miss a woman. I play around when I can but nothings stuck. I still go to raves and festivals as I did when I was 20, most of the people I party with are in their 20s and have a solid group of lifelong friends around my age in their 30s.

    What I did after my separation was stop allowing anything and anyone to dictate what I wanted. I wanted life. I created life. I didn’t sit around and wait for it to come, I made happiness happy and no shit, I’m happy. Happier than I was in my 20s.

    We aren’t old dude. What you have in your mind helps create what you have in life. Be positive as fuck and make happiness for yourself.

  9. 38, feel exactly the same. Been working on myself this year though, but not to be more mature or adult

  10. I just turned 40 a month ago. Same here dude.

    Life has not turned out how I thought at all. Idk wtf I’m gonna do, man. I’m fuckin fed up. I’m so *mad*.

    But the worst part of it is, I’m living with the results of the decisions I made. I have only myself to blame (mostly). I’m fucking drowning in self loathing and misery. But, fuck it. I’ve still got a better life than many, many other people.

    Count your blessings and carry on I guess. Keep pushing forward, whatever that means to you

  12. I can relate to feeling like the time passed by so fast and regret

    But still remember that your blessed to have lived to this point, even if it’s a below average existence, plenty of people didn’t get to live as long as you have, even enjoying something simple like a great meal, or a new TV show we all take those basic things for granted

    And on the brights side chances are you have another solid 30-40 years left, even to enjoy just the basics it’s better than the abyss of nothingness

  14. I just turned 40. It’s weird. I have a lot. Wife. Daughter. Dog. House. Good job. Health. Financial stability. Great extended family. Lots of people would kill for what I have. 

    But I want more. I can’t explain it. I think the most frustrating thing about life is that you really only get to explore one or two paths. I’m a husband and father and I love it but I also want to be a journalist and a bohemian artist banging younger women in a shitty loft apartment and an astronaut and a 16th century explorer and a musician… I want to live a bunch of different lives. 

    But most of us get 70-80 years or so. We can open a few doors and the rest stay closed forever. I guess that’s probably one of the hardest parts of old age is just… accepting.

  15. Set a goal for when you turn 40. A bit over a year ago I decided when I turned 40 I want to be at my healthiest point up to that point in my life. It helped provide a goal for the past year+ and it’s something I am proud of outside of the standard day-to-day/job/family stuff. I’m getting close to the day and I’m right on track and it makes me kind of excited to hit the big 40 tbh. For me, it’s also a reminder that 40 is not that old and there are a ton of good years with lots of adventure ahead.

  17. Getting through the first 40 years of your life while struggling with the challenges of being human is an accomplishment itself. So you haven’t done fuck all, you’ve successfully made it through 4 decades of life 🙂

    And you’re only half way through. I don’t think the best years of your life come before 40. Maybe in terms of your physical body but in my experience life after 40 just becomes more zen. Your remaining fucks drop to roughly zero and you start living for yourself. And if you can find a way to be less hard on yourself you might enjoy the next 40 years a lot more than you think!

  18. Turn 40 in Sept. Totally feel the same way, maybe even worse. I don’t have any answers or help. Just know from all these comments. You aren’t alone.

  21. I feel the same at 38. Never been married on in a real long term relationship. No kids. I sort of have a “career” but it’s one I fell into and still a bit new to after 2 years. I put all my weight back on which has made dating harder, and making friends at this age is generally harder, but I do really want to try and make the most of things and turn things around. We just need to persevere.

  22. Yeah, after 30 it has seriously fucking sucked, but I’m living with narcissists so that’s a factor

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