We are both women, since I always get questions asking. Firstly, this all started when my girlfriend offhandedly said that she told her best friend that she would date her if she was gay. Her best friend said that she doesn’t swing that way. I didn’t have a good reaction to this mostly because she told me that he exes would always get jealous and acted like it was crazy. I was like, why would you say they’re crazy if you make comments like that?? It made me insecure and upset and I moved on from it the best that I could.
We all work together and when her best friend is at work they like, don’t leave each other’s side. Her best friend will even come into work early and they’ll sit together for hours at the desk and I can hear them laughing and everything. It’s also weird because her best friend has a young son. So I’m like you literally are leaving your son for the day to come into work to work with her?? In my opinion it’s just weird. And when my girlfriend and I hang out together it seems like her best friend is always texting her about something and last night she was texting her about her boyfriend issues and it made me jealous because I was like okay so what if her best friend changed her mind one day and wanted to date my girlfriend because this guy isn’t what she wants?? I know that’s a big conclusion but still.
My girlfriend and I have even gotten into a disagreement about her basically not talking to me when her best friend is around. I never want to come in between things but I feel insecure about stuff. I’ve never really had a best friend act like that before. My girlfriend is also the masculine type of girl so it just makes me more insecure that they’re so close, when I know this girl wouldn’t be close with another feminine girl like that. She doesn’t have like any other friends that are girls. My girlfriend acts like she needs to be there for this girl 24/7 and it just can be a bit much. Even just thinking about them going to bars and stuff and hanging out alone makes me cringe. I don’t know I’m probably just being crazy but I really need advice at this point because I get really jealous and feel crazy about it and don’t want to upset anyone or do anything I regret like lash out emotionally or something. Thanks.
1 comment
The best thing to do would be to just talk to her about it. I know you’re worried that you’ll be seen as crazy but if she truly loves you she will listen and understand. You need to ask for boundaries to be put in place like spending more time with you and not making you feel like a thirdwheel. If it scared you to do so then write it up first and give it to her as a letter and let the discussion take place from there.
I have really bad jealousy issues with my partner’s friends too but after putting boundaries in place it becomes easier. I won’t lie and say jealousy goes away straight away because it does not. But jealousy is just in human nature and sometimes shows love and care. You’re not wrong for the way you feel but sometimes you and your partner will have differing views. As long as you both compromise it shouldn’t be an issue to solve