My gf and I have been together for little under 3 years. She is a gorgeous and caring woman but is extremely insecure. She needs reassurance about her anxieties daily, multiple times a day.
It is important to note we are also doing long distance right now because of our work situations. Today, I told her I may be hanging out with a childhood friend and coworker who is dating a woman I dated for a month in middle school (who is also a coworker). The relationship meant nothing and holds no weight in my life because it is was middle school relationship after all. Further, my buddy and his gf have been together for 6 years at this point and very much intend on getting married as they both have told me and I’ve relayed to my gf.
My gf gets anxious that something is going to happen because we “dated” when we were literally kids. Even though I’ve told her countless times I’m not interested in anyone else but her, that they are in a very stable, happy and long term relationship, and any other detail that could quell her anxiety.
Today when I told her, she tells me she’s anxious at the thought with me going to hang out because she doesn’t know if I’ll be interacting with her like that. I tell her that I will tell her of any interaction (something’s she’s asked for) and that there is nothing to be anxious about. She proceeded to tell me (over the phone) that I had a tone and was making her feel bad for having emotions. She proceeded to tell me I was “extremely frustrated” which I was not up until that point. I was slightly annoyed because she was asking me to repeat something I’ve told her countless times before but I know how she is so I try to reassure her to prevent escalation. I became truly frustrated and my tone changed after she told me how I feel; a pet peeve of mine which I have shared with her.
It truly feels like I can never just tell her I’m going to hang out with a buddy without me needing to reassure her that nothing is going to happen with my ex or some random woman. Mind you, I have never cheated or been unfaithful. It makes me just not want to go hangout with people because there’s that looming anxiety that she’s going to have some problem that will spark an hours long discussion.
Am I being unreasonable because I feel fucking insane