What to do if i can’t get over my ex more than 2 years?

No i cannot afford therapy. I still text him few times a month bc i cannot live without him. He's my everything. I still wake up everyday hoping that "breakup" was a dream.I feel disgusted by every other guy expect him. Idk what to do. I suffer so much and just wanna feel okay again. He told me many times already that he doesn't love me and doesnt wanna be with me anymore. But i cannot imagine myself without him.