EDIT 2: I replied to a comment about this, but wanted to clear up another misconception that I probably should’ve cleared up sooner. My boyfriend is equally as childish as me, he enjoys these things too. Before I met his kid, we would go on ‘childish’ dates. Our third date was a water park. He doesn’t enjoy stuff like clubbing or drinking or concerts etc., he’s just a complete dad personality which is why I fell in love with him.
EDIT: Just because I think people are getting confused – I don’t mind if the kid comes with us on these things, but he shares custody with the BM so 50% of the time we can’t bring kiddo with us. This is about the times when it can’t be all three of us. I don’t hate or resent the kid or feel angry that I’m not being put first in the slightest. His child is amazing and funny and sweet, just like his dad.
I love aquariums, zoos, farms, and any sort of similar activity. There’s been so many occasions where I’ve expressed I wanted to go somewhere or do something, but he ‘wouldn’t feel right’ going without his kid.
I offered to pay for both of us to go to Disneyland whilst the two of us were abroad, because I’ve wanted to go for the longest time. But he said no, he’d feel too guilty and we should wait until the kid is older. So we didn’t.
Maybe it’s my fault for being childish and sharing interests with a toddler, but I still want to have fun too. I don’t mind if he brings his kid along when he can, but stopping me/us from doing things when the kid can’t be there seems so unfair.
Kid is only 2, and not really fully aware yet. It’s not like they’d feel jealous/upset or even understand if we went to visit somewhere without them.
How do I convince him to let us do family friendly things without part of his family? I’m seriously considering just starting to do things on my own. I’m not sure if I’m missing something just because I’m not a birth parent, but from my perspective it seems very unfair for him to do so.