I 32F have been with my now husband 33M for 11 years in a relationship (3 years out of 11 were as a long distance relationship). I have done a lot of sacrifices for this person, I moved to another country that I have no family or friends, I was supporting him financially for 5 years (he had some own pocket money per month) before our wedding and the list goes on, he has also done things for us but more subtle and with much less effort.
We decided to proceed to arrange a wedding after he started working for his brother (his brother lives here with his own family and we live as a couple alone not on the same house), after he gathered an amount he thought would be enough we arrange to have a wedding to his city, the reason why we arranged it there varried from the support I did not have from my parents to the fake expectations set by my in laws, I worked very hard to plan the wedding since it was in a city mostly unknown for me and I needed support from people around us, there was limited to non help from his parents and almost no help from him, most of my wedding dress appointments I was alone and for his suit search I was always with him. I worked really hard to lose weight and lost 16kg in 6 to 7 months and 2 weeks before the wedding was super chaotic to run and figure everything out. His one and main responsibility was the music, his family wanted their traditional music live and they said they could also support our traditional music too (that was not entirely true, they had limited knowledge on songs).
For me the wedding was not worth it in the end, I feel like I paid for the celebration of his family rather than our wedding, He had 130 people from his side and I had 40 people from my side, their music was overwhelming and they barely left a chance for my family to celebrate with me, the venue was super small in the end but they insisted on this one because there is good food.
His uncle was one of the biggest pain, he wanted to dictate the wedding and was yelling that we do whatever was the plan he wanted, for example we decided to greet the people before starting dancing and he was rushing us saying it got too late and wanted us to not greet my side of the family, the list goes on and on…
I did not enjoy the venue at all, to summarize chronologically:
The entrance (around 10 to 11 pm) was pretty but my dress was laced too tight and I looked very fat the thing is that no one noticed to tell me about it at that moment, from phtographer to maid of honor who actually did that to my mom or my sister no one actually informed me about it, I only saw later on the photos shared to me. All my photos from our dancing to cutting the cake to saying cheers are so ugly for me.
For the first 10 minutes I was dancing nicely but brother in law suggested another route and from that moment people were stepping on me during dance and it got ruined, I spent too much time on the bathroom trying to fix it up while my husband was out dancing the whole time and having a blast, he says he did not have fun and thought it was mendetory that he needs to dance, well the dance kept ongoing without him there too.
Husband randomly decided when I should throw the bouquet and he never informed my photographer, this led to missed video footage of me throwing it, I got really sad on this and people were very confused why I was dragging the song.
I was not able to dance as much as I wanted, the dance floor was always full and there was no space for me to enter, If I did I would get stepped on and mostly disregarded. No one cared anyway not even the groom.
By 3am the son of the not so nice uncle was playing live music (he was not good) No one asked us if we wanted that or not, they just decided on their own and did what they wanted. Though the groom had no problem anyway, he liked it.
The photographer had to go by that time and she asked me about the promised party time, I informed the groom and he had to change scenarios fast, he wanted to have his own dance first (it was fun part even though no women can dance on that one) after that we did some party music in which I can say I danced the most and photographer left.
That was the moment that me and my family were more free to dance and they left some room for us, it was also late so quite a lot of people were leaving too.
I feel like his family was trying super hard to take the spotlight regardless if I was there or not, the groom never really cared about it, and barely approached and stayed with me. I felt miserable then and I still feel the same. When I say to him how it is for me he just says I am overreacting and that is was not so bad as I say. I truly believe that for him it was super nice, but not for me.
I am happy that people who attended were active but it feel like they were trying to overshadow me and my whole family. I am still waiting for the whole wedding video to see more details on some things but I am pretty sure I will be pissed off.
What do you think? I just received photos and there are so many of the people that pissed me off and disregarded me, I dont want to share it with them. I feel like I dont want to give them the photos and actually just delete them, I am actually thinking to just delete and filter out moments that disregarded my side and keep only the ones we are all together.
TLDR: I regret planning and financing a wedding that only the grooms relatives enjoyed and overshadowed me and my relatives. I am thinking photos in which random relatives are alone without us or grooms parents to not be shared or even deleted. What do you think?