Hello, my first post here.
To start off, me and my future wife have been together for 3 years and we plan to do a wedding in Greece in 2026. The thing is that I want to save up for the wedding so I can pay for everything. Me and my partner don't agree with the way weddings are done in our country (You go to someone's wedding and give them an envelope with a large amount of cash and in return they will come to your wedding and give you an envelope of cash when your time will come).
I completely hate this way of doing things which is why I want a wedding in another country with few close friends and with no envelops or gifts.
Now the problem is that it will take me some time to raise the money needed and here is where problems start to come. My fil keeps insisting that we should wed earlier and keeps asking my fiancée why are we taking so long?
Also, he offered to pay for everything provided that we do the wedding in our own country or if we insist, to help us with the costs of a foreign wedding to which I refused for several reasons. The first reason is that he always likes to be in control of everything and by accepting we won't have any say in how the wedding is going to be organized. Secondly, I want to achieve something by myself and offer my partner a memorable experience and to which I'm 110% sure that my fil won't agree with some of our/mine choices.
The latest thing that he has done and to which I feel has put some tensions between me and my partner is that he wants to take a trip to Asia in which he wants to go with his wife and his daughter but not with me because he stated that "we are not married yet" and that he would offer or take us on expensive trips if we were to be married.
I feel like he is doing this on purpose to exert pressure on me and my partner. Another thing that my partner tends to agree with him and also started putting pressure on me, she usually tends to agree to what her parents say or get caught in the middle between me and them.
Also for more context, I work a decent job in the IT sector and have a good enough income to afford the Greek Wedding, the only problem is that we have to wait a bit. And no, I hate the idea of a bank loan.
How do I handle this?
TL;DR: FIL putting pressure on me and my partner to marry earlier than we planned. I want to wait because i want to pay for the entire wedding by myself since I want to be have things in a certain way and won't settle for less or something else. FIl keeps bugging my partner and has recently offered to take her and his wife on an expensive vacation to Asia but not me since we are not married yet.