How do I act normal?

4 comments

1. In what ways do you mirror others that is different from your own?

2. Do you want to be likable? Or do you want to have people around you who wants to have your best interest at heart?

   If people treat you as if you are weird, then it is something about you that they do not understand. It is some quality of yourself that sets you apart. Being likable does not mean that it will solve your issues; but it will invite people into your space that may not have your best interest at heart.

   Honestly, I notice that it was my wrong expectation of what friends are. Is what prevented me from connecting with others.

   When you interact with others, where do you do it at? Is it at your job or what?

   Because most people usually stick together, when they have a commonality that kind of brings them together, and going towards the same place in life.

   Do you watch anime? Naruto is a perfect example of this. Naruto meets a plethora of people in his life who he connects well with; but many of those people *he met were seasonal people.* The people that stick with Naruto would be the people from the Hidden Leaf Village. All of those people were heading towards the same goal in life, which was protecting their village and home and carrying out missions such as jobs.

   For example, when you are at work. Those are people you are connecting with, usually only in the context of work. You typically do not carry your coworkers in other contexts because you are all only there to connect during the duration of your work. You all came together for a specific purpose.

   I am going to say this, do not focus too much on trying to fix your social skills. But focus more so on finding quality people around you. People of quality will push you for better, and when they push you for better. Your social skills will improve and you will overall improve. Quality people that is headed towards a similar direction. For example, let’s say you get into a hobby of playing the piano. Then you decided you wanted to create a band and do shows and concerts together to spread happiness and joy to the world through your music.

   Then in that case, you are all headed towards a similar goal going towards a similar direction.

   I am using myself as an example. When I use to drink all day and smoke weed all day. I found friends and bonded with them because we bonded through drug and alcohol use. Once I removed myself from that, then those friends and I are headed in a completely different place in life because the season has passed for them to be in my life.

3. First, don’t mirror. Everyone eventually learns that people do this to manipulate them into liking them. At best they’ll consider the action dishonest, at worst they’ll think you’re a narcissist.

   Regardless, focus on what the goal of the interaction is. In a formal setting, follow the ethics and tone of your profession and workplace. Pick up the lingo. In a personal setting, your goal is to find people you enjoy spending time with, so find the ones that you can be yourself with, don’t aim for normal. Like we say in my friend group “normal is boring, and I get enough of that at work”

4. Get some honest feedback on how you come across. You can ask some close friends of yours or some relative whatever. If you don’t know what the problem is (if there’s one), you can’t really understand how to solve it.