Hey y'all, so me and my brother have a pretty huge age difference.
When I was growing up, it was never okay to say that a Black woman's hair was "frizzy" or "matted". I had a lot of teachers who would make weird comments on their student's hair, even when it was obviously well taken care of. Most of the Black girls I was friends with were expected to straighten their hair or wear it in braids, even as little girls.
My brother, on the other hand, is younger and grew up in a time where natural hair is more accepted and accessible to young girls.
When I was younger, my friends would call their friends hair nappy if it was unstyled, and that was the word that was more acceptable in the group I was in. My brother was talking to me the other day and told me that saying nappy was worse than just saying matted or dirty. He explained the context to me, and I get it.
I'm not one to comment on people's appearance generally, and I would only ever do so to describe a person who needed help. I work as a health aid and it's important for us to keep track of hygiene/self-care for our clients in case it's a sign their condition is getting worse.
I thought about maybe using unkempt or disheveled or something, but those both sound like cop words.
Is it appropriate to use like… "unwashed" and "uncombed"? I wouldn't ever ever want to make anyone feel othered or unsafe with my language, especially with how vulnerable a lot of the people I work with are.