Hi,
32 YOM here. I had a pretty bad experience back in 2015 that was a mix of anxiety and depression. I was in a bad environment and I abused drugs/alcohol. I now have severe trust issues around people including my close friends and family. It has gotten a lot better, but I have trouble relaxing in social situations and it is negatively affecting my social life.
For the longest time, I told myself to suck it up and go out there and try making new friends. I tried really hard to be social but I couldn't maintain the smiling while focusing on conversations, while trying to carry on the conversation, while also remembering names, etc. People have come up to me and made side comments about "being fake", "trying too hard", "doing too much". I'll be the type of person that people will interact with at social functions, but never invited or asked to hang out after that.
My main motivation to put myself out there was to increase my confidence, be more attractive, and build a larger social circle for networking and long-term friendships. If anything, my social life hasn't moved much since 2015.
I've come to realize I enjoy the more introverted life and my social battery has a very limited charge. One social outing needs at least a week to fully recover. I do enjoy being alone and having quiet time, but I also want to have friends and a girlfriend at some point. I also enjoy being outdoors and exploring new places, hopefully that can translate into meeting new people too.
Any advice for someone going the quiet loner route? How does someone maximize this type of lifestyle when society tells us that being more social leads to more wealth/happiness/success?