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Go naked!!!
Red Lobster
Target
My house
I got some nice deck shorts from Sams club.
Goodwill, not only is it a fraction of the price, & if it doesn’t fit right, you’re out what…. $5?
TJ Maxx or a similar store. Name brand shit at Walmart prices!
Wear blue jeans, show that ocean who is gangster
Buy freaky stuff like speedos from Mr Bezos.
Honestly anywhere that sells them, as for color you can’t go wrong with blue or red.
I would just try the mall bro.
they’re guaranteed to be the most modern shit you can get in terms of fashion, it will be a little bit overpriced but it will actually give you an idea of what’s trending right now and what cuts suit the modern body.
I don’t even know if malls are still around anymore.
Walmart
You can get the standard American board shorts anywhere. They are indistinguishable. If you are looking looking for something more European with shorter thigh coverage you will need to go to a high end department store.
At a store.