How can I make my boyfriend want me?

My boyfriend often tells me that we never have sex. I experienced something traumatic in my last relationship and as a result I couldn't allow myself to be touched for a long time, which he got over. It continued and then we got closer and closer. Now he often says we never have sex or we have sex so rarely and no other man would ever be able to stand not being touched for so long in a relationship. It just turns me off even more. I want sex and I'm often horny but when we do it feels like we're only doing it for him and there's no romance. I have the feeling that I'll be disappointed and that we can only do it when he's having an orgasm, but when I'm horny he sends me away or isn't in the mood at that time. What can I do? I've tried to talk to him about romance, but he thinks that as soon as he means more to me l'll expect more too.