For more context, we’ve never had to talk at length about money because we were both gainfully employed. The way we handle costs is that I’d pay for most meals and groceries, and she’d cover bills and utilities, then we settle up on Splitwise.
It’s been a while since we’ve settled up – like over 2 years. (Somehow, we usually break even, so we’re never too pressed to punch in all these expenses line by line on Splitwise.)
Now, though, with limited money and a lot more time, I can pull up my bank statements and go line by line to drill down on exactly what she owes me, but she doesn’t have that time to do that herself.
A few other factors at play: we renewed our lease and agreed to a different rent split (used to be 60/40 since I earned more, now it’ll be 50/50) but in doing so turned off the automatic Zelle transfers. I’ve been so laser-focused on finding new work I hadn’t realized she fell behind two months on rent with me.
Again, normally not a huge deal, but with a shrinking checking account and no desire to tap into savings just yet, I had asked her a few times to settle up with me at least on rent.
Each time, she would get annoyed, and I would get frustrated. I know, I know, it shouldn’t be this way, but I also have to accept for now that she’s dealing with a level of stress that I would be better served somehow being direct but not piling on.
TL;DR lately she’s been getting annoyed about me asking her to catch up on rent and it’s messing with my ability to plan ahead.
Without having to resort to a big fight, how can I get her to just get me back on rent? I’m planning on just saying “hey, can you get me back on rent today” without diving into the explanation, but I’m a little stressed about the way she’s been reacting to me asking.