My ‘25F’ boyfriend ‘26M’ have been dating for about 10 months now. Things are great but he has quite strong reactions to not sleeping enough, eating at proper times, or working out enough. So much so that it tanks his mood and he gets into a giant spiral and reflects on all the bad things that has ever happened. Or how he’s not in the job he wants. He has totally melt downs. Or when I ask him to do a task or plan a date he gets really stressed/ worked up sometimes. I try to help him out with routine but not everything can be perfect all the time. It gets to the point where he has a fine day but the second he sees me his mood drops and he emotionally dumps on me and is such a bad head space? I think it’s bc he feels safe around me to do that but it’s a lot of emotional labor. It’s gotten to the point where he rants and I’m just quiet bc I don’t want to feed his bad thought loops. At night when I’m there he also gets moody bc he feels like he can’t play video games or smoke weed (bc he’s told me he wants to quit). It’s like his brain is used to that level of dopamine at night and so it starts spiraling if it doesn’t get that. Idk what to do. Or how to help anymore. I feel like I’m always trying to help him or hold him when he sobs. I told him to go to therapy but he just says he’ll look at his past notes with a previous therapist like 2 years ago and then doesn’t. It’s also not the same imo. How do I help?
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TL;DR
How to help my boyfriend, he has strong mood swings and just emotionally dumps on me every time I see him in person. Has strong reactions to not getting enough food, sleep, physical activity. How to help?