My (F27) boyfriend (M46) and I have had a huge falling out. I'm 7, almost 8 weeks pregnant, and we've been so happy up to now about it.
We've been together a year. We are from different countries but I moved to be with him in October last year. Before then I'd travelled back and forth for a month/few weeks.
I have a best friend I've known since I was 18. He's an out gay man. Our first year of uni we planned when we finished uni we'd go travelling through some countries in Europe last September.
This was planned before I met my boyfriend. We got together in late June, long distance. He kept asking to come, and I said I felt a little bad since we'd planned it as a duo trip, way before I knew him and my friend would find it a bit off me inviting a new partner along suddenly. We had a huge row at the time, throughout the trip but he eventually accepted it. This was about 3 months into our relationship, half of which was long distance. He'd just had a break up when we got together, because when we met initially he had a girlfriend and we were just friends.
Fast forward, he still jabs me about it but I usually just shrug it off, it was in the past and we'd built such a strong relationship since. Yesterday, I bit back saying that when we fought about it initially he had said he had a holiday planned with his ex, so I didn't actually know where I stood at the time too. But that it was in the past. He was fine at first, but then later that night he said he'd actually said "I had a holiday planned with my ex but cancelled it because I am with you." I immediately apologised for hearing wrong, and said I shouldn't have brought it up anyway, but I hold my hands up and am very sorry. He said I was twisting reality and gaslighting him- I'm not, as soon as he said I was wrong I apologised. I didn't fight him.
He was so angry that I had to sleep in another room. Today he said he can't trust me because of that trip, even when we'd worked through it before and I swore on my own life and the lives of everyone I care about that I never cheated with anyone, let alone my gay best friend. He said he couldn't trust my word and I made no effort to invite him on the trip, so this family we planned will be built on weak foundations and lies. I never lied to him. I said I understood his concerns but we were early into our relationship so I didn't want to cancel plans that had spanded years. My friends boyfriend wasn't coming either, and I know he'd feel uncomfortable if I suddenly invited someone else along on our trip. He said it's a joke to say a relationship has phases, that now he questions it even more because "early on" means I didn't respect or love him like I do now. He said phases don't exist, that from the start it's one phase.
He said I don't care about his feelings, I don't respect him and I said he's bringing this up now after we'd been so happy, so we need a solution because it's been 9 months and suddenly out of nowhere it's an issue again and I can't change it.
I said all I can do is prove to him that I do respect him, I do care for him, and I'll do anything to find a solution, but he said they're just empty words and he doesn't know if he even wants this relationship anymore, or the baby.
I will have to move back home to my country (UK) if he ends it, and terminate the pregnancy (I can't do it alone, I want this baby to have it's father)
I feel so conflicted, I've explained this to friends and they support my side (which they would I guess, they're my friends). What can I do in this situation? It came out of nowhere after so many months of happiness and building a relationship and planning a family. I'm stuck in a country with no friends or family, with a man I love dearly but who has suddenly, after even yesterday saying he loved me and couldn't wait to have this baby, suddenly doesn't want to be with me over an issue I thought we'd worked through 9 months ago. Any advice is appreciated…
TL/DR: bf of 1 year suddenly wants to break up over an incident that happened at the beginning of our relationship