Hi all,
I (30/F) am American, and my boyfriend (33/M) is Indian. He was born in India but moved to the states seven years ago. We hit it off very quickly and have been inseparable since meeting four months ago. He is looking for something serious like I am. Everything was going well until he told his Indian parents. They were livid. His dad stopped talking to him. Every conversation consists of them explaining that he is wasting his time and needs to end it and marry an Indian woman already because he is old. They want a typical Indian daughter in law who understands the culture, and they also feel that their community would make fun of them for their son marrying a white woman. He didn’t expect them to react this way and didn’t realize it would be a problem. I can see it affecting my BF and his mood. He can’t stand to see his parents so unhappy and he’s thinking about ending the relationship. He said that in his culture parents come first and a son’s happiness comes second. Obviously I’m devastated. I want him to fight for me and our relationship, but he says that’s not how it works in India and if they can’t accept it he will ultimately end it to make them happy. He has said that this is best relationship he’s ever had and that he thinks he’ll regret it forever if he ends it, but he feels obligated to make them happy. Anyone have any advice as to how to navigate this? Should I be annoyed that he can’t stand up to his parents, or is it really just a cultural thing I’ll never understand? The whole situation just makes me sad, not only for me but for my BF who obviously feels torn between love and responsibility.
Thanks for your input!