I think my bf wants to fist me

The last couple times we've had sex he's only wanted to finger me while I blew him. I initially thought this was foreplay that would lead to sex and even when I said I was ready for PIV sex he just kept going fingering me. He kept talking about how turned on he was doing it so I let him continue even though it wasn't that pleasurable. I mean it's hot, but it's not something I feel I could orgasm from. It may be still too early to tell but i felt more pain than pleasure from him progressively putting more fingers. I'm not sure if he's watching some kind of stretching porn or something (he denies it) but we've been together for over a decade and this is a relatively new thing he started to do. Is this something that feels good for women? He does go down on my beforehand to get me nice and loose but still couldn't get into it. Maybe my unwillingness didn't help but I'm afraid of being stretched out i guess? It makes PIV sex afterwards feel less good. Before I jump the gun and tell him to stop is this something that women generally like? Is it something I can train myself to do and how do I keep it tight afterward?