Well we may BOTH have feelings for each other. He wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend I told him no because we don’t have the same political and religious values and then we were friends but then we ended up dirty talking but then I got anxious what if I was leading him on or something. He insisted I’m not leading him on but we decided to just be friends.
Then I ended up kinda getting some random creeps talking to me online, well so I’d been anxious about my concerns about my sexuality and religion and I felt confused and some guy reached out and was being nice but then he insisted on sending intimate pictures of himself to me even when I told him not to multiple times. He also asked for a picture of me with clothes. I felt nervous about it and I confided in my online friend about this other creepy guy and how sometimes I wanted to talk intimately with somebody but he said I shouldn’t with random people online probably.
I kinda confided in him I wanted to talk sorta intimately a lot with people, he said he feels that way about me. We kinda started dirty talking but before he asked me if it was okay. I said yeah but I didn’t want to lead him on, he said I’m not and we decided to be fwb.
But the thing is I would maybe date him. I kinda want to but I can’t because of the religion and politics thing. It’s hard I don’t know. I maybe just really really want to be close to someone and I love talking to him like that.
This is quite literally the opposite of what my therapist suggested to do btw, she said we shouldn’t dirty talk but it’s hard. I just want to talk with someone like that I just feel horny so much, I feel guilty but sometimes I like him a lot it feels like a pull in my gut