does my fiances’s mom hate me ?

I have been with my fiance for almost four years now. I want to start by expressing that I have nothing against religion and I respect anyone's beliefs even if they are different than mine. When I first met my fiance we never discussed religion until we were about 6 months in I found out his mom raised him as a Pentecostal Christian I was not very familiar so I just went with it. Early on in our relationship, I would notice small things like her smelling his head at random moments or hugging him and looking at me or kissing his forehead in front of me which I did not pay much attention to. I guess i assumed she just really loved her son Idk.. Anyway, I don't smoke weed but early on she would ask my fiance if I smoked because my eyes are red (he was the one smoking in the car and that's why we would smell like weed) I also have tattoos, and her son doesn't he expressed wanted tattoos and she would say " don't let yourself be influenced by other people" as if I was making him get tattoos. She would call him many times during the night before we lived together and he would have to lie and tell her he was at his friend's house which I thought was weird since he was 21 !!!!! He cheated on me early on in our relationship and she covered for him which i understand because he is her son but then she made me seem like I was doing something wrong and went as far as denying me food which bothered me (she also did this in front of his grandparents). She puts a lot of pressure on us about getting married because we are "living in sin" and what will the church people think. I had made a joke when we first got engaged about wanting a bigger diamond (which we had already agreed on) and she called me materialistic and told my fiance I was worried about the wrong things. She never taught him how to cook or be financially responsible so I'm having to do this for him for the last four years… She's constantly making him feel guilty and asking us for money the most recent one was to give her $250 to throw a 19th dating anniversary for her and her husband in a banquet hall to which I said no. Am I being paranoid or is this competition like sometimes I feel like she would rather him be at home not to mention he has 2 younger brothers.