I feel so heart broken, I have just ended my relationship of 8 years, someone I was engaged to, have been with since I was 19.
I've been having the feeling of doubt and dread for nearly 2 years now, I have been dreaming of breaking up, and occasionally feel anxiety over the relationship. The difficulty is my partner is an amazing man, he looks after me, gets on with my family, loves me unconditionally, I feel so sad to lose this all.
The problem over our entire relationship has been his drinking, when I was 19 it was less of a problem because we were both silly. He would piss in my parents house when drunk, piss in our own house, puke off the side of the bed and not clean it up, piss on our nice furniture and Christmas presents. I have had serious conversations with him throughout the relationship, basically giving him the ultimatum that he needs to stop.
He is better now but with a small incident every 3-4 months. I'm always on edge at events, I feel myself being hyper-focused to his drinking and I hate it, counting his drinks and asking if he is limiting himself. I feel anxious before holidays, I hate how it makes me a moan.
I can't see any way of working through this anymore, when it all hit two years ago I felt I fell out out love, I was clear but we wanted to make it work.
Here I am 2 years later with the dreaded feeling still there. However l'm so emotional about this break up, I want to cuddle and be with him to make me feel better. He has been my person for 8 years, does this mean I have made the wrong decision, am I stupid throwing something I feel is true love away, my best friend, over this one issue??